I’m a man on a mission.

For too long, we have all been sold a bill of goods –and we have bought into the idea that:

We will be happy when we ___________________.

We will be fulfilled when we ___________________.

We will be successful once we ___________________.

We will content, peaceful, and satisfied just as soon as we ___________________.

Fill in the blanks.

The specifics of this message changes based on the marketing campaign, the product being touted, or the agenda of the individuals seeking to manipulate our motives and actions, but the general theme is the same:

“Our lives, as they exist, are insufficient and incomplete. You are incapable of experiencing happiness on your own.”

At the center of this argument is the notion that we all should achieve “Life Balance.” Once we attain this mystical (and I believe, mythical) state of existence, then we will finally be entitled to and capable of experiencing life’s intended joy.

Hogwash (or insert your favorite alternate exclamation here). I’ve had enough of this untrue and destructive message, and it’s time for a more truthful, empowering approach:

Life is not a hypothetical future. It is an undeniable present. It’s happening now! You will never attain a perfect balance, as life is in constant motion. Priorities change all the time. And, let’s face it, some things are simply more important than others.

That’s exactly why we need to embrace and initiate off balance moments. Engage life at a deeper level. Roll up your sleeves and claim your own joy, now. We do that not by achieving “balance,” but by living “off balance on purpose.”

This is serious business. Let’s look at the state we have created (as individuals and collectively, as a country) in our pursuit of balance, our desire to have a “little bit of everything”:

• Tremendous debt
• Overwork
• Stress, exhaustion, and depression
• Medications (prescribed and otherwise) to treat the symptoms
• Damaged heath
• Strained relationships

Ironically, the pursuit of perfection has exacerbated the ills it purports to address.

Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy? A misguided, well-intentioned effort? Or is it a deliberate attempt to keep us hungry for something other than what we possess?

A Different Approach

I believe that we can be happy, fulfilled, and vitally alive even during the off balance moments. After all, these are the only moments you have!

Off Balance is the way you will learn. It is the way you grow – personally, professionally, spiritually, or in any meaningful endeavor. We must be off balance, that is intentionally oriented toward a pursuit – in order to improve, achieve, or serve others.

The question is, are you off balance in response to your world, or are you off balance on purpose?

The Key is Purpose

At the core of this philosophy, book, and plan of action is the idea of living “on purpose.” This phrase has two meanings:

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1. Intentional. Deliberate. Consciously chosen.

2. Connected to a sense meaning, a purpose high importance that compels us to persevere.

In other words, we must be decided about what we want and where we are going, and we must al

so have a meaningful reason to get there.

Purpose may come a desire for spiritual growth, a clearly defined set of values, beliefs, and principles, or a compelling personal mission. The quest for the purpose of a moment, or a life, is constantly evolving and changing, as our awareness, capabilities, and desires take new shape. But I believe that a quest for purpose is the first and most important element of a life that is joyful, rewarding, and successful.

By getting clear on what matters most, engaging a challenge that is meaningful, we begin to experience joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction during the off balance moments we experience every day.

I would not be where I am in life without the examples and assistance of others. And I’m willing to bet that the same is true for you. We all benefit every day from our predecessors, teachers, advocates, and encouragers. In turn, we can uplift others through our words and deeds.

Role models and mentors are essential to your growth and success. We all have them. Some we choose directly and with forethought. Others, we are drawn to and begin to emulate without a conscious decision. They simply become part of the seasoning of our characters. Regardless, over time you will become like the people you associate and identify with on a regular basis.

That’s why I believe that selecting models and mentors should be a conscious choice. Be intentional and deliberate about the people you admire and aspire to “be like.” Be bold! Choose the people you most admire. Allow the brightest and best examples of humanity to bring out the best in you!

In who's footsteps will you follow?

Role Models

You don’t need someone’s permission to make that person a role model. Heck. You don’t even need to know them! You can choose anyone, from any period in history, from any country, state, or walk of life! The other great thing about role models is that you can pick and choose the qualities you wish to adopt. Select the best aspects without the flaws (we all have them).

Learn all you can about your role models. Study their lives, routines, habits, words, and thought processes. Then ask, “how can I make those qualities my own?” You shouldn’t strive to become a carbon copy of someone else. That would be false, unsuccessful and boring. Instead, allow the best aspects of those you admire to stimulate and influence your original choices about how you will spend your time, invest your thought, and take action.

Mentors

A mentor relationship is far more personal than a role model. This is an individual you engage directly. Again, it is someone you admire for a specific reason (or several). The relationship you seek is more structured, and it requires agreement by both parties: Your mentor agrees to assist you in achieving a specific skill or result. You agree to follow the instructions and implement what you learn.

This relationship is about accountability, trust, and action. If you are unwilling to follow the plan your mentor outlines and suggests, then you are wasting your time and theirs. You will likely be pushed into areas that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable. That’s the point! Sometimes it takes a commitment to a mentor (one that we respect and admire) to change our willingness to accept difficult tests. The aid of a mentor can help us achieve breakthroughs that would have taken much longer (or not been possible) on our own.

Across the Five Spheres

Choose a different role model for each of the five spheres of life (I introduce and discuss the five spheres more thoroughly in my book, Off Balance On Purpose). They are:

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Work – Who do you wish to model professionally?

Relationships – Who enjoys and embodies the types of relationships you seek?

Health – Who is, for you, the model of health and wellness?

Spiritual Growth – Who can serve as a model for your spiritual development?

Personal Interests – Who represents “the best” in your hobbies and areas of interest?

Into Action

1. Write down the names of the individuals who you wish to model in each of the five life areas. There may be more than one in each category. Identify the character traits, skills, principles, disciplines, or other qualities that you most admire about that person.
2. Select one person and one character trait you wish to make your own. Then begin to adopt it into your life.
3. Carefully select a mentor in a specific area to help you with a well-defined goal or objective. Ask that person if they would be able to serve as a mentor to you. If the answer is “yes,” outline a process that respects his or her time and places the primary burden of effort where it belongs . . . on you!
4. Become willing to be a role model and mentor for others. What qualities, talents, and abilities do you possess that others desire and need? Every day, in all your encounters, strive to let your best traits shine, providing a positive model.

No matter how challenging the circumstances and journey you presently face, someone else has walked a similar path. You need a guide. You need a model or mentor to light the way, inspire your efforts, and provide encouragement.

Place yourself in the company of greatness, and you will also become great!

Keep leaning forward,

Dan