How well do you anticipate what is likely to happen?

For most of us, this is a “hit and miss” proposition – sometimes we see what’s coming and other times we are completely caught off guard. Life’s unexpected curve balls can, at times have devastating impact, short-circuiting your productivity, and causing grief or frustration. When we fail to anticipate what may be expected of us in the future, we might find that our previous efforts were off target or unnecessary, and that we have effectively “wasted” our time and hard work.

While none of us can tell the future with certainty, I believe we can improve our powers of anticipation, starting right now, by following a few key principles.

Expand your Focus

When we are focusing on only what is right in front of us, it is difficult to anticipate what may be happening next, or what will happen as a result of what we are doing now. When you are simply in “get it done” mode, dealing the immediate demands for your time, energy, and action, you often won’t see what is coming.

It takes an active effort to expand your vision – upward and peripherally. In the face of trying events and urgent deadlines, this isn’t always easy. Yet, at those moments, expanding your focus is even more critical.

Focusing upward means that you are looking beyond the immediate moment. Do you have a plan? What, ultimately, are you trying to achieve? And (here’s the big question), what is the purpose, or reason, behind what you are doing? By answering these questions regularly, your present actions (the things you do NOW) will be better informed and more enlightened. You will be able to anticipate how today’s actions will shape your ultimate objectives. Like an expert chess player, you need to look beyond the next move, and anticipate the likely “ripple effects” of your actions. What will likely be expected of you in the future?

Focusing peripherally (around you) means that you are always on the lookout for new ideas, approaches, and resources. Where others see only one path, you are looking for alternatives. Ask a lot of questions. Read. Meet people you would normally pass by, and ask about their expertise or experience. You may find that these encounters offer valuable insight to your challenges and expand your peripheral vision, making you better at anticipating what is coming.

Look for Patterns

Many of the individuals and organizations I work with think their situations are new and unique. Typically, however, they are simply variations of timeless challenges that have played out countless times during human history (usually related to people issues). Sure, the specific details may change, but with a longer term and wider perspective, it becomes easier to see “patterns” that repeat themselves. When you see the patterns, you can more easily anticipate what will happen.

When we continue to experience the same or similar challenges over and over, we learn how to anticipate and handle them. But, perhaps, the better approach is to examine the pattern that creates those challenges, and make adjustments that will minimize or eliminate the problem. Being willing to reshape your patterns is a key to anticipating and making improvements. Also, look at similar patterns – in nature, in business, and in life. By studying and understanding patterns in general, you can apply peripheral insights to present day circumstances. The trends we can observe in the world around us will provide profound clues about what is to come.

Practice “Active Anticipation”

Like any skill, anticipation takes practice. Here are three ways for you to hone your talent.

1. Anticipate Small Things – When approaching a situation, play it through in your mind. Even a small encounter such as grocery shopping can be a useful test of your anticipatory powers. Pick a few key details that you expect to unfold, and then see if you were correct. This exercise (which takes no additional time) will help to cultivate your foresight.

2. Expect Good Things – When faced with an assortment of possible outcomes, anticipate or expect the best. This is not simply wishful thinking, but rather a way to actively orient yourself to what you want. When you expect good things, you will act to make them happen. You will also be more upbeat and positive, which feels good and uplifts the people you encounter.

3. Prepare for Multiple Outcomes – Anticipation involves thinking through our responses to various events. Formulate options: If this happens, then that is likely to follow. Here’s how I will respond. If you go into a situation with only one plan of action, you will likely be thrown off your plan and into the realm of uncertainty. It is far better to mentally rehearse different scenarios, so that you can improvise, yet stay confident and in command.

Incorporate these three principles into your daily activities – expand your focus, look for patterns, and practice active anticipation. As you do, you will engage your world a little differently, and you will begin to see a glimpse of what’s to come. When you anticipate with accuracy, you will become far more capable and productive. You will be able to assist yourself and others in remarkable ways.

I’m anticipating great things for you!

Dan

We are all off balance. The question is, are you simply off balance in response to your world, struggling to keep up with the demands placed upon you? Or, are you off balance, on purpose, moving through life in a way that is intentional, deliberate, and fueled by a sense of meaning?

This is the central point in the Off Balance On Purpose philosophy, and my book of the same title. I believe that it is incumbent upon each of us to adopt an orientation, or “life posture” that is BOTH in alignment with a sense of purpose AND leaning forward toward our greatest desires.

Towards, Not Away From

Notice I said, “leaning forward towards our greatest desires.” This is important. The human mind naturally seeks what you tell it to find. Beyond that, our focused thoughts make us keenly aware of the people and opportunities that are congruent with our intentions. You and I literally become and experience what we think.

Therefore, you are focused “away from” negative influences or behaviors, this will confuse your built in “seek and find” system. For example:

One of the questions that I frequently hear from my clients is “How do we avoid employee burnout (or disengagement, or disinterest)? The first problem, you see, is in the phrasing of the question. The orientation of the question is about moving away from an undesirable condition “burnout,” which, then becomes the subject of your focus. You simply cannot make forward progress until you have a forward focused objective. That’s why I approach it differently.

I help my clients design and operate a workplace that supports energized, engaged, accountable employees.

Do you see how this second statement immediately shifts the thought process and orientation? Now, in our conversations and plans, we are leaning forward towards something purposeful and compelling (engaged, capable, responsible employees), instead of trying to avoid a negative condition (burnout).

Need more examples? No problem. As you focus your efforts to make changes, which approach would be more useful?

Away from unhealthy food or towards a healthy lifestyle

Away from financial crisis or towards financial discipline

Away from negative self-talk or towards confidence and independence

Away from past events and hardships or towards a promising future

Away from broken relationships or towards transformed relationships

Away from a suffering spirit or towards spiritual growth

When you Go Full Tilt

It is a question of being focused, aimed, and pointed in the direction of what you most want. This is an exciting prospect, so I encourage you to aim high and lean boldly toward your desires. A hesitant step in the right direction won’t provide the commitment or excitement you will need to continue.

That’s why I suggest that you go “Full Tilt,” meaning that you should lean forward with conviction and make the kinds of choices and promises that make you a bit uncomfortable. That’s the posture from which transformation is born, flourishes, and sustains itself over a long period of time.

Into Action

1. Identify your most important, urgent, consuming issues.
2. Perform an “orientation check.” Are you positioned to move “away from” a negative circumstance or “toward” something positive, exciting, and compelling?
3. Adjust your life posture, your orientation, so that you emphasize the positive aspects and results you are moving towards.
4. Increase your lean, going full tilt towards what you are seeking. You might do this by sharing your plan with someone, enlisting assistance or accountability, or simply increasing your personal commitment. Lean forward until you feel excited and a bit uncomfortable.
5. Sharpen your focus and clarity. Don’t pick “fuzzy goals” or general improvements. Get specific, so that you will recognize opportunities when they materialize.

Until next month, I’m wishing you an exciting and wonderful journey towards what you most want – personally and professionally. Keep leaning forward!

Dan

I believe we deeply desire integrity – For ourselves and for the people we encounter.

It’s one of those qualities, like “balance,” that seems wired into our circuitry in such a way that we quite naturally understand it, aspire to it, and notice its unquestionable lacking in our world. But, as this article is really about action, the question becomes “what can we do about it?”

Where is the integrity in our society? Is it evident and demonstrated by our leaders or celebrities? If so, then why is there a relentless onslaught of seemingly good or talented people doing the wrong things? In fact, the integrity gap seems to be ever expanding.

It Isn’t What You Think

To get to the root of the problem, I believe we need to examine the very origin of the word “integrity.” And, to quote the character Inigo Montoya from one of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride (arguably one of the most quotable films in history):

“You keep using that word.

I do not think it means what you think it means.”

It doesn’t. Over many years, we have altered the definition of “having integrity” to mean: honest, virtuous, and upstanding. But it doesn’t mean what you think it means.

In fact, the root of the word, “integer,” is Latin, meaning “whole, or complete.” “Integrity” truly means “the quality or state of being complete; wholeness.”

We point to the outward expressions of “integrity,” noting such virtues as honesty and truthfulness. But, in reality, these qualities are simply a natural byproduct of the condition of completeness. So our true challenge, you see, is becoming whole and complete, even in our undeniable imperfection. That is much like like finding solid footing in an off balance predicament.

How Do You Do That?

“Inconceivable,” you might protest. “Completeness is no more achievable than perfect balance. Or safely navigating a fire swamp.” You are absolutely correct, my friend. But, I believe the key to embodying integrity is twofold:

1. Become engaged in the process. The process is called “integration,” and it means “putting together the components that are necessary for wholeness – those things that are integral to your life.”
2. See yourself as complete, even though you are a work in progress. You have, even now, what you need to move forward and take coordinated, purposeful steps and do the right thing.

When we (or the people we admire) perceive ourselves as undeserving of our present circumstances, or lacking something we think is necessary to preserve or gain happiness, we are incomplete. We are lacking integrity. We may begin to do things that express this shortcoming, and we pursue our missing elements, even though we may not fully understand them.

Decide that you are, right now, complete and capable of doing the right thing. You are enough, just as you are, regardless of your wealth, job, or external circumstances. Integrity does not discriminate, regardless of where or how you are stationed in life.  You can possess integrity, but you must own your completeness and be:

• Completely present
• Completely accountable
• Completely honest
  
• Completely committed to persevere through the process

Integration

This process of putting it together, assembling completeness, fascinates me. I wrote about it in my book, Off Balance On Purpose, and shared a process for assembling what I believe are the five essential aspects for completeness: work, relationships, health, spiritual growth, and personal interests. Rather than “balancing” these elements, I believe we must integrate them in a healthy and abundant way. That’s where joy resides. That’s when integrity becomes second nature.

Integrity is not a sometimes thing. There isn’t a switch you turn on and off when it suits you. It is a natural byproduct of a higher pursuit, and a plan of action.

Into Action

You wouldn't traverse a bridge lacking integrity. Why enter into a partnership in a similar state?

1. Develop integrity by selecting essential elements and (here’s the hard part) eliminating from your life those things that challenge your completeness.
2. Insist on integrity in your relationships, business partners, and for yourself.
3. Reward integrity. Make sure your “heroes” are people who really deserve the title. Commend others who exhibit the virtues you admire and aspire to embody.

There will always be room for improvement, and you and I will never reach our full potential (because it is infinite). Still, the state of wholeness is yours to claim. When you claim your completeness, and begin to live and act in this way, you also become a shining example for others to follow.

Do you have a GPS (Global Positioning System)?

You are here!

With annual sales of these navigation devices at 39 million units, and with the popularity of GPS enabled cell phones, more and more people are using this helpful technology tool to get from where they are to where they want to go.

These are incredible devices. They enable us to easily, comfortably find previously unknown places. Simply type in your desired destination and, in many cases, a friendly guide (computerized voice) will tell you exactly where you are, when to turn, and the  precise moment you have arrived at your destination.

I have selected an Australian woman as my GPS voice because I love the accent. A friend of mine actually downloaded the voice of Mr. T to his GPS. Imagine that driving experience for a moment – “I pity the fool who don’t turn left right now! You lost, sucka!”

There is a Downside

But as wonderful and as useful as these devices are, there is a negative side effect. If you have one, you know what it is, because you have had the experience of arriving at a destination without any real clue or understanding as to how you got there. Without the GPS, you would have little chance of getting home, much less finding this spot again in the future. Right? We’ve all been there!

GPS Affect on Learning

A GPS will get you there, but it doesn’t teach you how to get there again. That is because the learning happens in the “figuring it out” part. When you deprive yourself of the experience of “getting lost,” you also deprive yourself of learning. From that standpoint, the term GPS could take on a different meaning, “Growth Prevention System.”

Personal growth happens the same way. Unless we have struggled to attain a “right answer” or “find a destination,” we will not truly benefit from the discovery.

Apply that thought to your life right now. There is a benefit to the struggle you face right now – a gift to the grind. Sometimes we are fortunate or benefit from the guidance and generosity of others. Even then, if you seem to have simply “arrived” at your current state of success, without understanding exactly how you got there, you will naturally be uncertain about where to go next.

Into Action

In order to take command of your direction and route toward your desired destination, personally or professionally, incorporate these “directions” into your road map.

1. Get Lost! It’s OK to be uncertain of where you are. In fact, sometimes it is the best way to learn a new territory. You may find that you are already “lost” in some way, uncertain about where you are going. Embrace it! These moments of transition and change are, in fact, incredible opportunities to learn, grow, and redefine yourself!
2. Get your bearings. To do so, you might need to consult a “map.” Take a hard look at your life and the path that brought you to where you are. Then, look at yourself. Get your inner “bearings” about what you value, what is important to you, and what you truly want to achieve. This “purpose” check is the equivalent of recalibrating your inner compass.
3. Ask for directions. Ask for guidance from someone (or several different people) you respect and admire. Take in this advice, but realize that no one can do it for you. This is your journey to navigate.
4. Refuel. Refocus. Recommit. In order to sustain a difficult journey, you need to treat your vehicle right. Eat well, rest, and renew your personal energy. Take time to look around and confirm you are headed in the direction you wish to go. And, on a regular basis, remind yourself the reason why this trip is so important, and recommit to the next leg of the adventure.

Both the joy AND the learning are found in the journey. Take charge of your circumstances and embrace the challenge of finding your own way. There will be moments of confusion and decision, as well as new discoveries. Savor and experience these, and commit the lessons to memory. Indulge in a few detours, without rushing your arrival time. The greatest discovery of all may be the unexpected experiences, and previously unknown aspects of your self.

In 1965 The Rolling Stones wrote the hit song (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction, expressing angst and lack of fulfillment. Ironically, “satisfaction” at the time of the song’s recording was likely much higher than it is today.

Earlier this month The Conference Board published findings from its annual report on job satisfaction in the United States, and the results were startling.

On top of double-digit unemployment, it seems that even those who are working are (in record numbers) unhappy, unfilled and downright disinterested in the jobs they have! Here are some highlights:

• Only 45% of those surveyed are satisfied with their jobs (down from 61.1% in 1987, the first year the survey was conducted.
• Only 51% find their jobs interesting.
• More workers are satisfied with their commute (despite the fact that commute times have increased) then they are with their jobs!
• 22% of those surveyed don’t expect to be in their current job in a year.

This is not an isolated circumstance, but a long term trend that paints a gloomy picture for employers and employees alike. While one in ten individuals who want to work cannot find a job, those who are employed are – across all income levels and age ranges – increasingly unsatisfied with the jobs they have.

Double Jeopardy

The negative effects of this condition, I believe, are two fold. First, as job satisfaction plummets, so does performance, employee engagement, and productivity. During challenging times, this exacerbates corporate struggles and feeds a negative cycle of declining profits, increasing demands on employees, and overall workplace funk.

The second area of concern is the real life experience of the individual employees. Unhappiness and disinterest, experienced over an extended period of time, leads to a compromised life experience and, in many cases, declining health, relationship conflicts, and a suffering of the spirit. Indulgent after hours “escapes” may distract from the problem, but they may also create more serious issues and conflicts.

Who is to Blame?

In my opinion, employees and employers both need to make adjustments in order to combat this downward spiral and create a healthier workplace.

Ultimately, each of us is responsible for our own happiness. The first step to increasing satisfaction (at work or in life) is to accept this responsibility and take ownership of our circumstances, just as they are.

If you are miserable at work, you have two choices:

1. Change your attitude and orientation towards the job that you have.
2. Get a different job.

Either way, you will be doing your employer a great service.

The lens through which we view our job (or our life) determines in large part whether we will have a positive or a negative experience. Focus on the aspects of your job that are interesting and fulfilling to you. What is the purpose of the work you are doing? How does it impact others in a positive way? Who are you serving through your efforts? By focusing on others or on your unique contributions, you can shift your approach to your job and discover a more satisfying sense of purpose.

If the gap between what you do and personal satisfaction is unbridgeable, then you may need to look elsewhere for your vocation. Life is too short to commit the largest portion of your waking hours to a task or mission that is distasteful. Look at this as an opportunity to discover what truly matters to you, and develop a plan to shift your efforts into a more satisfying profession.

Employers, in turn, must create an environment where people can more easily “plug in,” get engaged, and express ideas. Employees need to be treated as individuals, validated for their input and unique contributions.

“Challenging and meaningful work is vitally important to engaging American workers,” says John Gibbons, program director of employee engagement research and services at The Conference Board. “Widespread job dissatisfaction negatively affects employee behavior and retention, which can impact enterprise-level success.”

“Satisfaction,” it seems, is not only a requirement for a quality life, but for a growing and profitable company. The companies who are thriving now and attracting the most talented and loyal employees, do so with a purposeful strategy:

• Fostering communication and welcoming creative input about company processes.
• Providing a challenging, yet purposeful mission that brings about engagement and attracts talented, spirited employees.
• Recognizing the connections between work and other aspects of life – Family, health, spiritual growth, and personal pursuits.
• Helping people strengthen the connections between work and those other aspects of life.
• Rewarding effort, risk taking, creativity, and loyalty in a variety of ways (money, recognition, flex-time, etc.)

Satisfaction is not an end result. It is a byproduct of a challenging and purposeful approach to work … and to life.

At the start of each year, we dive again into the unknown, recommitted to make positive improvements to some, or several aspects of our lives. Perhaps this idea of a “fresh start” provides new hope and energy. That’s fantastic! But it’s not enough. It will take a sustained commitment and a coordinated plan to be successful.

I have created a seven minute video that will help you as you plan your year. It will give you a different way to approach the the personal and professional changes you want to make. It will also help you to develop a wider view of the various aspects of your life, and see how they are all connected.

After you watch this video, you will have a different perspective of the changes you are contemplating. And you’ll be ready to take action.

Into Action

This year, take these steps to ensure that your ambitions become accomplishments and that your desires turn into “done deals.”

1. Consider how you want to grow in each of the five spheres of life – Work, Relationships, Health, Spiritual Growth, and Personal Interests. Capture these thoughts on paper, or in a computer file. When you write down your desires, you make them real, tangible and far more powerful. This step is extremely important.
2. Look for supportive connections between your goals and desires. What lifelines will be strengthened or enhanced as you pursue and realize your goals? Which goals complement one another?
3. Minimize the negative impact of changes. In what ways might your goals challenge your spheres and lifelines? Even a desire to make a positive change can have unintended, undesirable ramifications. As you go “off balance” in pursuit of a goal, what other areas of your life may be neglected or compromised? How can you minimize these negative consequences by engaging the support and connections of your life pattern?
4. Go for incremental progress instead of the end result. You can’t accomplish all your goals at once. Start with the one that will have the most significant overall benefit to your five spheres. Then take the first step toward improvement. Before long, your progress will create momentum to help you continue the journey.

Life will never be perfectly balanced, but it can be Off Balance On Purpose. That means you can make the choices to initiate the changes and challenges that will bring about your positive transformation. Along the way, please consider me as a resource and partner.

Keep leaning forward!

Dan

Do you have tension in your life?

Let’s see. Between economic uncertainty, job pressures, and the multitude of circumstances competing for your attention, I’d say it’s a safe bet that we all experience the daily tugs of tension.

And that is a good thing.

Tension is natural, normal, and a vital component of a healthy, enjoyable, prosperous life. The key is to distinguish between the helpful, positive tensions that pull us forward toward improvement and the negative, destructive tensions that sabotage success and happiness.

As Glinda, the Witch of the North, asked Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?”, we should ask the same of the tension in our lives. Is it good tension or bad tension?

Bad Tension

Bad tension may manifest in our lives as stress, strain, or sickness. The prolonged presence of these negative elements can take an enormous toll, manifesting in serious physical ailments or depression.

You need to diffuse the negative tensions in your life. Recognize and reject them. And note that, in many cases, these factors are self-inflicted — a byproduct of our thinking, our actions, and our indecision.

Stress: (n) a biological term, meaning “The consequences of the failure of a human or animal to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats.”

It is not the circumstances or threats that bring about stress. It is our failure to act!

You must take action to diffuse or remove the bad tension in your life.

1. Engage in physical exercise.
2. Breathe deeply and purposefully.
3. Make the decisions you have been forestalling.
4. Refuse to accept the burdens that you know will bring about unwanted, negative tension.
5. Replace bad tension with good tension.

Good Tension

Tension can be a positive force that helps you understand your relationship relative to others and to life’s events, challenges, opportunities, and questions. As the “magnitude” of the opportunity or challenge increases, so will the tension. For example:

• The tug of competing forces (pros and cons) provides clarity relative to your position.
• The pull of a compelling opportunity draws you forward into uncertainty.
• The desire to become better causes you to put forth extra effort, learn, and improve your abilities.
• The connection you feel with others (a force created through communication, understanding, and shared experiences) serves as a guide or comfort when you are physically separate or pursuing different agendas.

When the tension is increased  — it may stir your emotions and generate some uncertainty. This, too, is normal and natural. You may notice that your existing doubts become harder to overlook. Your fears inflame. Your beliefs and abilities become tested.

I say bring it on! Even then, it is not only possible to relax and embrace uncertainty. It is a mandate!

When the stakes are real and immediate you can turn your tension into a heightened focus. Build the confidence to overshadow your doubts. It’s not as though they will go away completely. But doubts can drift into the background noise just long enough for you to take the next purposeful step down your own version of a “yellow brick road.”

Keep leaning forward,

Dan

I’m a man on a mission.

For too long, we have all been sold a bill of goods –and we have bought into the idea that:

We will be happy when we ___________________.

We will be fulfilled when we ___________________.

We will be successful once we ___________________.

We will content, peaceful, and satisfied just as soon as we ___________________.

Fill in the blanks.

The specifics of this message changes based on the marketing campaign, the product being touted, or the agenda of the individuals seeking to manipulate our motives and actions, but the general theme is the same:

“Our lives, as they exist, are insufficient and incomplete. You are incapable of experiencing happiness on your own.”

At the center of this argument is the notion that we all should achieve “Life Balance.” Once we attain this mystical (and I believe, mythical) state of existence, then we will finally be entitled to and capable of experiencing life’s intended joy.

Hogwash (or insert your favorite alternate exclamation here). I’ve had enough of this untrue and destructive message, and it’s time for a more truthful, empowering approach:

Life is not a hypothetical future. It is an undeniable present. It’s happening now! You will never attain a perfect balance, as life is in constant motion. Priorities change all the time. And, let’s face it, some things are simply more important than others.

That’s exactly why we need to embrace and initiate off balance moments. Engage life at a deeper level. Roll up your sleeves and claim your own joy, now. We do that not by achieving “balance,” but by living “off balance on purpose.”

This is serious business. Let’s look at the state we have created (as individuals and collectively, as a country) in our pursuit of balance, our desire to have a “little bit of everything”:

• Tremendous debt
• Overwork
• Stress, exhaustion, and depression
• Medications (prescribed and otherwise) to treat the symptoms
• Damaged heath
• Strained relationships

Ironically, the pursuit of perfection has exacerbated the ills it purports to address.

Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy? A misguided, well-intentioned effort? Or is it a deliberate attempt to keep us hungry for something other than what we possess?

A Different Approach

I believe that we can be happy, fulfilled, and vitally alive even during the off balance moments. After all, these are the only moments you have!

Off Balance is the way you will learn. It is the way you grow – personally, professionally, spiritually, or in any meaningful endeavor. We must be off balance, that is intentionally oriented toward a pursuit – in order to improve, achieve, or serve others.

The question is, are you off balance in response to your world, or are you off balance on purpose?

The Key is Purpose

At the core of this philosophy, book, and plan of action is the idea of living “on purpose.” This phrase has two meanings:

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1. Intentional. Deliberate. Consciously chosen.

2. Connected to a sense meaning, a purpose high importance that compels us to persevere.

In other words, we must be decided about what we want and where we are going, and we must al

so have a meaningful reason to get there.

Purpose may come a desire for spiritual growth, a clearly defined set of values, beliefs, and principles, or a compelling personal mission. The quest for the purpose of a moment, or a life, is constantly evolving and changing, as our awareness, capabilities, and desires take new shape. But I believe that a quest for purpose is the first and most important element of a life that is joyful, rewarding, and successful.

By getting clear on what matters most, engaging a challenge that is meaningful, we begin to experience joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction during the off balance moments we experience every day.

I would not be where I am in life without the examples and assistance of others. And I’m willing to bet that the same is true for you. We all benefit every day from our predecessors, teachers, advocates, and encouragers. In turn, we can uplift others through our words and deeds.

Role models and mentors are essential to your growth and success. We all have them. Some we choose directly and with forethought. Others, we are drawn to and begin to emulate without a conscious decision. They simply become part of the seasoning of our characters. Regardless, over time you will become like the people you associate and identify with on a regular basis.

That’s why I believe that selecting models and mentors should be a conscious choice. Be intentional and deliberate about the people you admire and aspire to “be like.” Be bold! Choose the people you most admire. Allow the brightest and best examples of humanity to bring out the best in you!

In who's footsteps will you follow?

Role Models

You don’t need someone’s permission to make that person a role model. Heck. You don’t even need to know them! You can choose anyone, from any period in history, from any country, state, or walk of life! The other great thing about role models is that you can pick and choose the qualities you wish to adopt. Select the best aspects without the flaws (we all have them).

Learn all you can about your role models. Study their lives, routines, habits, words, and thought processes. Then ask, “how can I make those qualities my own?” You shouldn’t strive to become a carbon copy of someone else. That would be false, unsuccessful and boring. Instead, allow the best aspects of those you admire to stimulate and influence your original choices about how you will spend your time, invest your thought, and take action.

Mentors

A mentor relationship is far more personal than a role model. This is an individual you engage directly. Again, it is someone you admire for a specific reason (or several). The relationship you seek is more structured, and it requires agreement by both parties: Your mentor agrees to assist you in achieving a specific skill or result. You agree to follow the instructions and implement what you learn.

This relationship is about accountability, trust, and action. If you are unwilling to follow the plan your mentor outlines and suggests, then you are wasting your time and theirs. You will likely be pushed into areas that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable. That’s the point! Sometimes it takes a commitment to a mentor (one that we respect and admire) to change our willingness to accept difficult tests. The aid of a mentor can help us achieve breakthroughs that would have taken much longer (or not been possible) on our own.

Across the Five Spheres

Choose a different role model for each of the five spheres of life (I introduce and discuss the five spheres more thoroughly in my book, Off Balance On Purpose). They are:

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Work – Who do you wish to model professionally?

Relationships – Who enjoys and embodies the types of relationships you seek?

Health – Who is, for you, the model of health and wellness?

Spiritual Growth – Who can serve as a model for your spiritual development?

Personal Interests – Who represents “the best” in your hobbies and areas of interest?

Into Action

1. Write down the names of the individuals who you wish to model in each of the five life areas. There may be more than one in each category. Identify the character traits, skills, principles, disciplines, or other qualities that you most admire about that person.
2. Select one person and one character trait you wish to make your own. Then begin to adopt it into your life.
3. Carefully select a mentor in a specific area to help you with a well-defined goal or objective. Ask that person if they would be able to serve as a mentor to you. If the answer is “yes,” outline a process that respects his or her time and places the primary burden of effort where it belongs . . . on you!
4. Become willing to be a role model and mentor for others. What qualities, talents, and abilities do you possess that others desire and need? Every day, in all your encounters, strive to let your best traits shine, providing a positive model.

No matter how challenging the circumstances and journey you presently face, someone else has walked a similar path. You need a guide. You need a model or mentor to light the way, inspire your efforts, and provide encouragement.

Place yourself in the company of greatness, and you will also become great!

Keep leaning forward,

Dan

Don’t you just love it when things go smoothly? At such times, events, tasks, and conversations seem to happen naturally, and in a way that flows with perfect timing and seamless execution? We have all enjoyed these wonderful occasions. But we are also familiar (perhaps, more so) with the opposite experience, when obtaining progress seems to require supreme effort.

The concept of “flow”—this elusive and wonderful mode of operation—fascinates me, and I have always been drawn to questions surrounding the subject, such as:

• What is the state of flow, and how does it relate to human performance?
• Does flow happen accidentally or intentionally?
• How can we recapture or reproduce this state when it matters most?

I had an experience with “flow” of a different sort just last week, rafting through the Nenana River in Denali, Alaska. My wife and I took an excursion to the shadow of Denali Mountain (Mt. McKinley) in the Alaska Range, and employed a guide to steer us down class 3 and 4 rapids through the canyon of this glacially fed river. The water was a numbing 36 degrees, so we wore dry suits to protect us from total bone chill. The beauty and challenge had us completely engaged, and the ten mile, 2 ½ hour trip went by in a blink.

Perception is Reality

When you are fully engaged in a challenge, your concept of time and effort may become altered or “warped.” This phenomenon is one of the qualities of flow, according to the expert on the subject, Mihaly Czikszentmihal, author of Flow—The Psychology of Optimal Experience. He says, “instead of being buffeted by anonymous forces, we feel in control of our actions, masters of our own fate. On the rare occasions that it happens, we feel a sense of exhilaration, a deep sense of enjoyment that is long cherished and becomes a landmark in memory for what life should be like.”

Athletes may experience this state when engaged in competition. Creative types know full well the same sensation that arises from immersion in their work. And all of us have tapped into flow through meaningful conversations, rewarding work, fascinating educational encounters, or joyful, loving moments.

Getting There/ Finding Flow

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to access this state of mind, this deep happiness that shapes us so profoundly, on a regular basis? Well, you can! This immensely rewarding feeling, it seems, stems from our deliberate decisions to fully engage life and it’s challenging moments. Csikszentmihalyi writes, “The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limit in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” That’s what I call living Off Balance On Purpose.

Instead of focusing on “flow” as a noun (a desirable end game), view it as a verb (a way of being and engaging your world). We choose to flow by applying ourselves to tackle a challenge, solve a problem, or embrace an intense and important moment.

Off Balance On Purpose

Similarly, “balance” is not a noun, a goal we can ultimately attain. When you pursue it as such, you immediately limit yourself and your response to your world. While grappling for balance, you have to impose rules and rigidly define what “balance” is. This proves to be difficult, if not impossible, as the concept is constantly changing to reflect the longing for what could be but isn’t. The grass will always be greener, and life could always be more fulfilling—somehow.

When you shift your viewpoint to see “balance” as a verb, limitations become limitless possibilities. You are engaged in the art of balancing multiple aspects of life, applying your skills, talents, choices, actions, and creative solutions to integrate what is happening all around you. There is no “end game,” as the masterwork of your creation (your life) is in constant flow. But by engaging the challenge and responding in a vibrant way, you become the guide who shapes the journey.

Into Action

1. Increase your level of engagement in your world. Pursue a more meaningful challenge and you just may find yourself swept up by a sense of flow that brings you joy and heightened rewards.
2. Stop searching for “balance” and become a better balancer. Learn the skills that will enable you to guide yourself through challenging moments.
3. Choose the route you wish to follow—a route that is both “difficult and worthwhile.”
4. Manage your internal reality. When you cultivate a sense of order in your thinking, you also experience order in your life.

When the waves pound you, feel the exhilaration, dig in your paddles, and become a part of the flow.

Keep Leaning Forward,

Dan

Click here for a sample of Dan's new book, Off Balance On Purpose, available NOW!