We are all off balance. The question is, are you simply off balance in response to your world, struggling to keep up with the demands placed upon you? Or, are you off balance, on purpose, moving through life in a way that is intentional, deliberate, and fueled by a sense of meaning?

This is the central point in the Off Balance On Purpose philosophy, and my book of the same title. I believe that it is incumbent upon each of us to adopt an orientation, or “life posture” that is BOTH in alignment with a sense of purpose AND leaning forward toward our greatest desires.

Towards, Not Away From

Notice I said, “leaning forward towards our greatest desires.” This is important. The human mind naturally seeks what you tell it to find. Beyond that, our focused thoughts make us keenly aware of the people and opportunities that are congruent with our intentions. You and I literally become and experience what we think.

Therefore, you are focused “away from” negative influences or behaviors, this will confuse your built in “seek and find” system. For example:

One of the questions that I frequently hear from my clients is “How do we avoid employee burnout (or disengagement, or disinterest)? The first problem, you see, is in the phrasing of the question. The orientation of the question is about moving away from an undesirable condition “burnout,” which, then becomes the subject of your focus. You simply cannot make forward progress until you have a forward focused objective. That’s why I approach it differently.

I help my clients design and operate a workplace that supports energized, engaged, accountable employees.

Do you see how this second statement immediately shifts the thought process and orientation? Now, in our conversations and plans, we are leaning forward towards something purposeful and compelling (engaged, capable, responsible employees), instead of trying to avoid a negative condition (burnout).

Need more examples? No problem. As you focus your efforts to make changes, which approach would be more useful?

Away from unhealthy food or towards a healthy lifestyle

Away from financial crisis or towards financial discipline

Away from negative self-talk or towards confidence and independence

Away from past events and hardships or towards a promising future

Away from broken relationships or towards transformed relationships

Away from a suffering spirit or towards spiritual growth

When you Go Full Tilt

It is a question of being focused, aimed, and pointed in the direction of what you most want. This is an exciting prospect, so I encourage you to aim high and lean boldly toward your desires. A hesitant step in the right direction won’t provide the commitment or excitement you will need to continue.

That’s why I suggest that you go “Full Tilt,” meaning that you should lean forward with conviction and make the kinds of choices and promises that make you a bit uncomfortable. That’s the posture from which transformation is born, flourishes, and sustains itself over a long period of time.

Into Action

1. Identify your most important, urgent, consuming issues.
2. Perform an “orientation check.” Are you positioned to move “away from” a negative circumstance or “toward” something positive, exciting, and compelling?
3. Adjust your life posture, your orientation, so that you emphasize the positive aspects and results you are moving towards.
4. Increase your lean, going full tilt towards what you are seeking. You might do this by sharing your plan with someone, enlisting assistance or accountability, or simply increasing your personal commitment. Lean forward until you feel excited and a bit uncomfortable.
5. Sharpen your focus and clarity. Don’t pick “fuzzy goals” or general improvements. Get specific, so that you will recognize opportunities when they materialize.

Until next month, I’m wishing you an exciting and wonderful journey towards what you most want – personally and professionally. Keep leaning forward!

Dan

I believe we deeply desire integrity – For ourselves and for the people we encounter.

It’s one of those qualities, like “balance,” that seems wired into our circuitry in such a way that we quite naturally understand it, aspire to it, and notice its unquestionable lacking in our world. But, as this article is really about action, the question becomes “what can we do about it?”

Where is the integrity in our society? Is it evident and demonstrated by our leaders or celebrities? If so, then why is there a relentless onslaught of seemingly good or talented people doing the wrong things? In fact, the integrity gap seems to be ever expanding.

It Isn’t What You Think

To get to the root of the problem, I believe we need to examine the very origin of the word “integrity.” And, to quote the character Inigo Montoya from one of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride (arguably one of the most quotable films in history):

“You keep using that word.

I do not think it means what you think it means.”

It doesn’t. Over many years, we have altered the definition of “having integrity” to mean: honest, virtuous, and upstanding. But it doesn’t mean what you think it means.

In fact, the root of the word, “integer,” is Latin, meaning “whole, or complete.” “Integrity” truly means “the quality or state of being complete; wholeness.”

We point to the outward expressions of “integrity,” noting such virtues as honesty and truthfulness. But, in reality, these qualities are simply a natural byproduct of the condition of completeness. So our true challenge, you see, is becoming whole and complete, even in our undeniable imperfection. That is much like like finding solid footing in an off balance predicament.

How Do You Do That?

“Inconceivable,” you might protest. “Completeness is no more achievable than perfect balance. Or safely navigating a fire swamp.” You are absolutely correct, my friend. But, I believe the key to embodying integrity is twofold:

1. Become engaged in the process. The process is called “integration,” and it means “putting together the components that are necessary for wholeness – those things that are integral to your life.”
2. See yourself as complete, even though you are a work in progress. You have, even now, what you need to move forward and take coordinated, purposeful steps and do the right thing.

When we (or the people we admire) perceive ourselves as undeserving of our present circumstances, or lacking something we think is necessary to preserve or gain happiness, we are incomplete. We are lacking integrity. We may begin to do things that express this shortcoming, and we pursue our missing elements, even though we may not fully understand them.

Decide that you are, right now, complete and capable of doing the right thing. You are enough, just as you are, regardless of your wealth, job, or external circumstances. Integrity does not discriminate, regardless of where or how you are stationed in life.  You can possess integrity, but you must own your completeness and be:

• Completely present
• Completely accountable
• Completely honest
  
• Completely committed to persevere through the process

Integration

This process of putting it together, assembling completeness, fascinates me. I wrote about it in my book, Off Balance On Purpose, and shared a process for assembling what I believe are the five essential aspects for completeness: work, relationships, health, spiritual growth, and personal interests. Rather than “balancing” these elements, I believe we must integrate them in a healthy and abundant way. That’s where joy resides. That’s when integrity becomes second nature.

Integrity is not a sometimes thing. There isn’t a switch you turn on and off when it suits you. It is a natural byproduct of a higher pursuit, and a plan of action.

Into Action

You wouldn't traverse a bridge lacking integrity. Why enter into a partnership in a similar state?

1. Develop integrity by selecting essential elements and (here’s the hard part) eliminating from your life those things that challenge your completeness.
2. Insist on integrity in your relationships, business partners, and for yourself.
3. Reward integrity. Make sure your “heroes” are people who really deserve the title. Commend others who exhibit the virtues you admire and aspire to embody.

There will always be room for improvement, and you and I will never reach our full potential (because it is infinite). Still, the state of wholeness is yours to claim. When you claim your completeness, and begin to live and act in this way, you also become a shining example for others to follow.

Do you have a GPS (Global Positioning System)?

You are here!

With annual sales of these navigation devices at 39 million units, and with the popularity of GPS enabled cell phones, more and more people are using this helpful technology tool to get from where they are to where they want to go.

These are incredible devices. They enable us to easily, comfortably find previously unknown places. Simply type in your desired destination and, in many cases, a friendly guide (computerized voice) will tell you exactly where you are, when to turn, and the  precise moment you have arrived at your destination.

I have selected an Australian woman as my GPS voice because I love the accent. A friend of mine actually downloaded the voice of Mr. T to his GPS. Imagine that driving experience for a moment – “I pity the fool who don’t turn left right now! You lost, sucka!”

There is a Downside

But as wonderful and as useful as these devices are, there is a negative side effect. If you have one, you know what it is, because you have had the experience of arriving at a destination without any real clue or understanding as to how you got there. Without the GPS, you would have little chance of getting home, much less finding this spot again in the future. Right? We’ve all been there!

GPS Affect on Learning

A GPS will get you there, but it doesn’t teach you how to get there again. That is because the learning happens in the “figuring it out” part. When you deprive yourself of the experience of “getting lost,” you also deprive yourself of learning. From that standpoint, the term GPS could take on a different meaning, “Growth Prevention System.”

Personal growth happens the same way. Unless we have struggled to attain a “right answer” or “find a destination,” we will not truly benefit from the discovery.

Apply that thought to your life right now. There is a benefit to the struggle you face right now – a gift to the grind. Sometimes we are fortunate or benefit from the guidance and generosity of others. Even then, if you seem to have simply “arrived” at your current state of success, without understanding exactly how you got there, you will naturally be uncertain about where to go next.

Into Action

In order to take command of your direction and route toward your desired destination, personally or professionally, incorporate these “directions” into your road map.

1. Get Lost! It’s OK to be uncertain of where you are. In fact, sometimes it is the best way to learn a new territory. You may find that you are already “lost” in some way, uncertain about where you are going. Embrace it! These moments of transition and change are, in fact, incredible opportunities to learn, grow, and redefine yourself!
2. Get your bearings. To do so, you might need to consult a “map.” Take a hard look at your life and the path that brought you to where you are. Then, look at yourself. Get your inner “bearings” about what you value, what is important to you, and what you truly want to achieve. This “purpose” check is the equivalent of recalibrating your inner compass.
3. Ask for directions. Ask for guidance from someone (or several different people) you respect and admire. Take in this advice, but realize that no one can do it for you. This is your journey to navigate.
4. Refuel. Refocus. Recommit. In order to sustain a difficult journey, you need to treat your vehicle right. Eat well, rest, and renew your personal energy. Take time to look around and confirm you are headed in the direction you wish to go. And, on a regular basis, remind yourself the reason why this trip is so important, and recommit to the next leg of the adventure.

Both the joy AND the learning are found in the journey. Take charge of your circumstances and embrace the challenge of finding your own way. There will be moments of confusion and decision, as well as new discoveries. Savor and experience these, and commit the lessons to memory. Indulge in a few detours, without rushing your arrival time. The greatest discovery of all may be the unexpected experiences, and previously unknown aspects of your self.

In 1965 The Rolling Stones wrote the hit song (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction, expressing angst and lack of fulfillment. Ironically, “satisfaction” at the time of the song’s recording was likely much higher than it is today.

Earlier this month The Conference Board published findings from its annual report on job satisfaction in the United States, and the results were startling.

On top of double-digit unemployment, it seems that even those who are working are (in record numbers) unhappy, unfilled and downright disinterested in the jobs they have! Here are some highlights:

• Only 45% of those surveyed are satisfied with their jobs (down from 61.1% in 1987, the first year the survey was conducted.
• Only 51% find their jobs interesting.
• More workers are satisfied with their commute (despite the fact that commute times have increased) then they are with their jobs!
• 22% of those surveyed don’t expect to be in their current job in a year.

This is not an isolated circumstance, but a long term trend that paints a gloomy picture for employers and employees alike. While one in ten individuals who want to work cannot find a job, those who are employed are – across all income levels and age ranges – increasingly unsatisfied with the jobs they have.

Double Jeopardy

The negative effects of this condition, I believe, are two fold. First, as job satisfaction plummets, so does performance, employee engagement, and productivity. During challenging times, this exacerbates corporate struggles and feeds a negative cycle of declining profits, increasing demands on employees, and overall workplace funk.

The second area of concern is the real life experience of the individual employees. Unhappiness and disinterest, experienced over an extended period of time, leads to a compromised life experience and, in many cases, declining health, relationship conflicts, and a suffering of the spirit. Indulgent after hours “escapes” may distract from the problem, but they may also create more serious issues and conflicts.

Who is to Blame?

In my opinion, employees and employers both need to make adjustments in order to combat this downward spiral and create a healthier workplace.

Ultimately, each of us is responsible for our own happiness. The first step to increasing satisfaction (at work or in life) is to accept this responsibility and take ownership of our circumstances, just as they are.

If you are miserable at work, you have two choices:

1. Change your attitude and orientation towards the job that you have.
2. Get a different job.

Either way, you will be doing your employer a great service.

The lens through which we view our job (or our life) determines in large part whether we will have a positive or a negative experience. Focus on the aspects of your job that are interesting and fulfilling to you. What is the purpose of the work you are doing? How does it impact others in a positive way? Who are you serving through your efforts? By focusing on others or on your unique contributions, you can shift your approach to your job and discover a more satisfying sense of purpose.

If the gap between what you do and personal satisfaction is unbridgeable, then you may need to look elsewhere for your vocation. Life is too short to commit the largest portion of your waking hours to a task or mission that is distasteful. Look at this as an opportunity to discover what truly matters to you, and develop a plan to shift your efforts into a more satisfying profession.

Employers, in turn, must create an environment where people can more easily “plug in,” get engaged, and express ideas. Employees need to be treated as individuals, validated for their input and unique contributions.

“Challenging and meaningful work is vitally important to engaging American workers,” says John Gibbons, program director of employee engagement research and services at The Conference Board. “Widespread job dissatisfaction negatively affects employee behavior and retention, which can impact enterprise-level success.”

“Satisfaction,” it seems, is not only a requirement for a quality life, but for a growing and profitable company. The companies who are thriving now and attracting the most talented and loyal employees, do so with a purposeful strategy:

• Fostering communication and welcoming creative input about company processes.
• Providing a challenging, yet purposeful mission that brings about engagement and attracts talented, spirited employees.
• Recognizing the connections between work and other aspects of life – Family, health, spiritual growth, and personal pursuits.
• Helping people strengthen the connections between work and those other aspects of life.
• Rewarding effort, risk taking, creativity, and loyalty in a variety of ways (money, recognition, flex-time, etc.)

Satisfaction is not an end result. It is a byproduct of a challenging and purposeful approach to work … and to life.

At the start of each year, we dive again into the unknown, recommitted to make positive improvements to some, or several aspects of our lives. Perhaps this idea of a “fresh start” provides new hope and energy. That’s fantastic! But it’s not enough. It will take a sustained commitment and a coordinated plan to be successful.

I have created a seven minute video that will help you as you plan your year. It will give you a different way to approach the the personal and professional changes you want to make. It will also help you to develop a wider view of the various aspects of your life, and see how they are all connected.

After you watch this video, you will have a different perspective of the changes you are contemplating. And you’ll be ready to take action.

Into Action

This year, take these steps to ensure that your ambitions become accomplishments and that your desires turn into “done deals.”

1. Consider how you want to grow in each of the five spheres of life – Work, Relationships, Health, Spiritual Growth, and Personal Interests. Capture these thoughts on paper, or in a computer file. When you write down your desires, you make them real, tangible and far more powerful. This step is extremely important.
2. Look for supportive connections between your goals and desires. What lifelines will be strengthened or enhanced as you pursue and realize your goals? Which goals complement one another?
3. Minimize the negative impact of changes. In what ways might your goals challenge your spheres and lifelines? Even a desire to make a positive change can have unintended, undesirable ramifications. As you go “off balance” in pursuit of a goal, what other areas of your life may be neglected or compromised? How can you minimize these negative consequences by engaging the support and connections of your life pattern?
4. Go for incremental progress instead of the end result. You can’t accomplish all your goals at once. Start with the one that will have the most significant overall benefit to your five spheres. Then take the first step toward improvement. Before long, your progress will create momentum to help you continue the journey.

Life will never be perfectly balanced, but it can be Off Balance On Purpose. That means you can make the choices to initiate the changes and challenges that will bring about your positive transformation. Along the way, please consider me as a resource and partner.

Keep leaning forward!

Dan

Last night my wife and I attended the Holiday Party for the National Speakers Association – Georgia chapter. As always, it was a great time, with non-stop enjoyable conversations. I really am thankful to have that group of people, and the NSA organization, in my life.

When I joined NSA more than fifteen years ago, I was a wide-eyed twenty something with abundant excitement and little real knowledge about the profession of “Speaking.” Going to those first meetings, I was a little intimidated but mostly curious and awed by the talent and variety of interesting characters … some of which are still members today.

NSA is a remarkable group. People openly share all of their information, business practices, and trade secrets with one another. The support is heartfelt and genuine. After I got over the initial shock and suspicion, I’m convinced that NSA cut my learning curve by several years. But, more importantly, it gave me a group of people to consider colleagues, as well as friends, as we all seek to become better over time and help others to do the same. In many ways, although I am one of the group’s veterans now, I feel that I am still that beginning student. There is no end to learning in this remarkable, ever changing profession. Learning, in any meaningful endeavor, is a lifelong process.

I’m hopeful that you have an association of people like this in your life, too. That’s how we stay connected, accountable, and motivated to continue past our discouragements and challenges. We can’t do it alone.

I would not be where I am in life without the examples and assistance of others. And I’m willing to bet that the same is true for you. We all benefit every day from our predecessors, teachers, advocates, and encouragers. In turn, we can uplift others through our words and deeds.

Role models and mentors are essential to your growth and success. We all have them. Some we choose directly and with forethought. Others, we are drawn to and begin to emulate without a conscious decision. They simply become part of the seasoning of our characters. Regardless, over time you will become like the people you associate and identify with on a regular basis.

That’s why I believe that selecting models and mentors should be a conscious choice. Be intentional and deliberate about the people you admire and aspire to “be like.” Be bold! Choose the people you most admire. Allow the brightest and best examples of humanity to bring out the best in you!

In who's footsteps will you follow?

Role Models

You don’t need someone’s permission to make that person a role model. Heck. You don’t even need to know them! You can choose anyone, from any period in history, from any country, state, or walk of life! The other great thing about role models is that you can pick and choose the qualities you wish to adopt. Select the best aspects without the flaws (we all have them).

Learn all you can about your role models. Study their lives, routines, habits, words, and thought processes. Then ask, “how can I make those qualities my own?” You shouldn’t strive to become a carbon copy of someone else. That would be false, unsuccessful and boring. Instead, allow the best aspects of those you admire to stimulate and influence your original choices about how you will spend your time, invest your thought, and take action.

Mentors

A mentor relationship is far more personal than a role model. This is an individual you engage directly. Again, it is someone you admire for a specific reason (or several). The relationship you seek is more structured, and it requires agreement by both parties: Your mentor agrees to assist you in achieving a specific skill or result. You agree to follow the instructions and implement what you learn.

This relationship is about accountability, trust, and action. If you are unwilling to follow the plan your mentor outlines and suggests, then you are wasting your time and theirs. You will likely be pushed into areas that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable. That’s the point! Sometimes it takes a commitment to a mentor (one that we respect and admire) to change our willingness to accept difficult tests. The aid of a mentor can help us achieve breakthroughs that would have taken much longer (or not been possible) on our own.

Across the Five Spheres

Choose a different role model for each of the five spheres of life (I introduce and discuss the five spheres more thoroughly in my book, Off Balance On Purpose). They are:

Read a free sample of Off Balance On Purpose

Work – Who do you wish to model professionally?

Relationships – Who enjoys and embodies the types of relationships you seek?

Health – Who is, for you, the model of health and wellness?

Spiritual Growth – Who can serve as a model for your spiritual development?

Personal Interests – Who represents “the best” in your hobbies and areas of interest?

Into Action

1. Write down the names of the individuals who you wish to model in each of the five life areas. There may be more than one in each category. Identify the character traits, skills, principles, disciplines, or other qualities that you most admire about that person.
2. Select one person and one character trait you wish to make your own. Then begin to adopt it into your life.
3. Carefully select a mentor in a specific area to help you with a well-defined goal or objective. Ask that person if they would be able to serve as a mentor to you. If the answer is “yes,” outline a process that respects his or her time and places the primary burden of effort where it belongs . . . on you!
4. Become willing to be a role model and mentor for others. What qualities, talents, and abilities do you possess that others desire and need? Every day, in all your encounters, strive to let your best traits shine, providing a positive model.

No matter how challenging the circumstances and journey you presently face, someone else has walked a similar path. You need a guide. You need a model or mentor to light the way, inspire your efforts, and provide encouragement.

Place yourself in the company of greatness, and you will also become great!

Keep leaning forward,

Dan

Don’t you just love it when things go smoothly? At such times, events, tasks, and conversations seem to happen naturally, and in a way that flows with perfect timing and seamless execution? We have all enjoyed these wonderful occasions. But we are also familiar (perhaps, more so) with the opposite experience, when obtaining progress seems to require supreme effort.

The concept of “flow”—this elusive and wonderful mode of operation—fascinates me, and I have always been drawn to questions surrounding the subject, such as:

• What is the state of flow, and how does it relate to human performance?
• Does flow happen accidentally or intentionally?
• How can we recapture or reproduce this state when it matters most?

I had an experience with “flow” of a different sort just last week, rafting through the Nenana River in Denali, Alaska. My wife and I took an excursion to the shadow of Denali Mountain (Mt. McKinley) in the Alaska Range, and employed a guide to steer us down class 3 and 4 rapids through the canyon of this glacially fed river. The water was a numbing 36 degrees, so we wore dry suits to protect us from total bone chill. The beauty and challenge had us completely engaged, and the ten mile, 2 ½ hour trip went by in a blink.

Perception is Reality

When you are fully engaged in a challenge, your concept of time and effort may become altered or “warped.” This phenomenon is one of the qualities of flow, according to the expert on the subject, Mihaly Czikszentmihal, author of Flow—The Psychology of Optimal Experience. He says, “instead of being buffeted by anonymous forces, we feel in control of our actions, masters of our own fate. On the rare occasions that it happens, we feel a sense of exhilaration, a deep sense of enjoyment that is long cherished and becomes a landmark in memory for what life should be like.”

Athletes may experience this state when engaged in competition. Creative types know full well the same sensation that arises from immersion in their work. And all of us have tapped into flow through meaningful conversations, rewarding work, fascinating educational encounters, or joyful, loving moments.

Getting There/ Finding Flow

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to access this state of mind, this deep happiness that shapes us so profoundly, on a regular basis? Well, you can! This immensely rewarding feeling, it seems, stems from our deliberate decisions to fully engage life and it’s challenging moments. Csikszentmihalyi writes, “The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limit in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” That’s what I call living Off Balance On Purpose.

Instead of focusing on “flow” as a noun (a desirable end game), view it as a verb (a way of being and engaging your world). We choose to flow by applying ourselves to tackle a challenge, solve a problem, or embrace an intense and important moment.

Off Balance On Purpose

Similarly, “balance” is not a noun, a goal we can ultimately attain. When you pursue it as such, you immediately limit yourself and your response to your world. While grappling for balance, you have to impose rules and rigidly define what “balance” is. This proves to be difficult, if not impossible, as the concept is constantly changing to reflect the longing for what could be but isn’t. The grass will always be greener, and life could always be more fulfilling—somehow.

When you shift your viewpoint to see “balance” as a verb, limitations become limitless possibilities. You are engaged in the art of balancing multiple aspects of life, applying your skills, talents, choices, actions, and creative solutions to integrate what is happening all around you. There is no “end game,” as the masterwork of your creation (your life) is in constant flow. But by engaging the challenge and responding in a vibrant way, you become the guide who shapes the journey.

Into Action

1. Increase your level of engagement in your world. Pursue a more meaningful challenge and you just may find yourself swept up by a sense of flow that brings you joy and heightened rewards.
2. Stop searching for “balance” and become a better balancer. Learn the skills that will enable you to guide yourself through challenging moments.
3. Choose the route you wish to follow—a route that is both “difficult and worthwhile.”
4. Manage your internal reality. When you cultivate a sense of order in your thinking, you also experience order in your life.

When the waves pound you, feel the exhilaration, dig in your paddles, and become a part of the flow.

Keep Leaning Forward,

Dan

Click here for a sample of Dan's new book, Off Balance On Purpose, available NOW!

• Came home from a successful engagement in NJ yesterday. Hanging with my daughter at work today (she’s helping:) and tackling a ton of stuff. #

• Landed in Atlanta this am and headed straight to church to play drums with the praise band. Coffee is helpful. #
• Back at the airport and headed to Newark. Program tomorrow for Prudential, then home for a while. What a crazy day! #