Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Holiday Connections

Monday, December 14th, 2009

Last night my wife and I attended the Holiday Party for the National Speakers Association – Georgia chapter. As always, it was a great time, with non-stop enjoyable conversations. I really am thankful to have that group of people, and the NSA organization, in my life.

When I joined NSA more than fifteen years ago, I was a wide-eyed twenty something with abundant excitement and little real knowledge about the profession of “Speaking.” Going to those first meetings, I was a little intimidated but mostly curious and awed by the talent and variety of interesting characters … some of which are still members today.

NSA is a remarkable group. People openly share all of their information, business practices, and trade secrets with one another. The support is heartfelt and genuine. After I got over the initial shock and suspicion, I’m convinced that NSA cut my learning curve by several years. But, more importantly, it gave me a group of people to consider colleagues, as well as friends, as we all seek to become better over time and help others to do the same. In many ways, although I am one of the group’s veterans now, I feel that I am still that beginning student. There is no end to learning in this remarkable, ever changing profession. Learning, in any meaningful endeavor, is a lifelong process.

I’m hopeful that you have an association of people like this in your life, too. That’s how we stay connected, accountable, and motivated to continue past our discouragements and challenges. We can’t do it alone.

Models and Mentors

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

I would not be where I am in life without the examples and assistance of others. And I’m willing to bet that the same is true for you. We all benefit every day from our predecessors, teachers, advocates, and encouragers. In turn, we can uplift others through our words and deeds.

Role models and mentors are essential to your growth and success. We all have them. Some we choose directly and with forethought. Others, we are drawn to and begin to emulate without a conscious decision. They simply become part of the seasoning of our characters. Regardless, over time you will become like the people you associate and identify with on a regular basis.

That’s why I believe that selecting models and mentors should be a conscious choice. Be intentional and deliberate about the people you admire and aspire to “be like.” Be bold! Choose the people you most admire. Allow the brightest and best examples of humanity to bring out the best in you!

In whos footsteps will you follow?

In who's footsteps will you follow?

Role Models

You don’t need someone’s permission to make that person a role model. Heck. You don’t even need to know them! You can choose anyone, from any period in history, from any country, state, or walk of life! The other great thing about role models is that you can pick and choose the qualities you wish to adopt. Select the best aspects without the flaws (we all have them).

Learn all you can about your role models. Study their lives, routines, habits, words, and thought processes. Then ask, “how can I make those qualities my own?” You shouldn’t strive to become a carbon copy of someone else. That would be false, unsuccessful and boring. Instead, allow the best aspects of those you admire to stimulate and influence your original choices about how you will spend your time, invest your thought, and take action.

Mentors

A mentor relationship is far more personal than a role model. This is an individual you engage directly. Again, it is someone you admire for a specific reason (or several). The relationship you seek is more structured, and it requires agreement by both parties: Your mentor agrees to assist you in achieving a specific skill or result. You agree to follow the instructions and implement what you learn.

This relationship is about accountability, trust, and action. If you are unwilling to follow the plan your mentor outlines and suggests, then you are wasting your time and theirs. You will likely be pushed into areas that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable. That’s the point! Sometimes it takes a commitment to a mentor (one that we respect and admire) to change our willingness to accept difficult tests. The aid of a mentor can help us achieve breakthroughs that would have taken much longer (or not been possible) on our own.

Across the Five Spheres

Choose a different role model for each of the five spheres of life (I introduce and discuss the five spheres more thoroughly in my book, Off Balance On Purpose). They are:

Read a free sample of Off Balance On Purpose

Read a free sample of Off Balance On Purpose

Work – Who do you wish to model professionally?

Relationships – Who enjoys and embodies the types of relationships you seek?

Health – Who is, for you, the model of health and wellness?

Spiritual Growth – Who can serve as a model for your spiritual development?

Personal Interests – Who represents “the best” in your hobbies and areas of interest?

Into Action

  1. Write down the names of the individuals who you wish to model in each of the five life areas. There may be more than one in each category. Identify the character traits, skills, principles, disciplines, or other qualities that you most admire about that person.
  2. Select one person and one character trait you wish to make your own. Then begin to adopt it into your life.
  3. Carefully select a mentor in a specific area to help you with a well-defined goal or objective. Ask that person if they would be able to serve as a mentor to you. If the answer is “yes,” outline a process that respects his or her time and places the primary burden of effort where it belongs . . . on you!
  4. Become willing to be a role model and mentor for others. What qualities, talents, and abilities do you possess that others desire and need? Every day, in all your encounters, strive to let your best traits shine, providing a positive model.

No matter how challenging the circumstances and journey you presently face, someone else has walked a similar path. You need a guide. You need a model or mentor to light the way, inspire your efforts, and provide encouragement.

Place yourself in the company of greatness, and you will also become great!

Keep leaning forward,

Dan

Flow

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

Don’t you just love it when things go smoothly? At such times, events, tasks, and conversations seem to happen naturally, and in a way that flows with perfect timing and seamless execution? We have all enjoyed these wonderful occasions. But we are also familiar (perhaps, more so) with the opposite experience, when obtaining progress seems to require supreme effort.

The concept of “flow”—this elusive and wonderful mode of operation—fascinates me, and I have always been drawn to questions surrounding the subject, such as:

• What is the state of flow, and how does it relate to human performance?
• Does flow happen accidentally or intentionally?

• How can we recapture or reproduce this state when it matters most?

I had an experience with “flow” of a different sort just last week, rafting through the Nenana River in Denali, Alaska. My wife and I took an excursion to the shadow of Denali Mountain (Mt. McKinley) in the Alaska Range, and employed a guide to steer us down class 3 and 4 rapids through the canyon of this glacially fed river. The water was a numbing 36 degrees, so we wore dry suits to protect us from total bone chill. The beauty and challenge had us completely engaged, and the ten mile, 2 ½ hour trip went by in a blink.

Perception is Reality

When you are fully engaged in a challenge, your concept of time and effort may become altered or “warped.” This phenomenon is one of the qualities of flow, according to the expert on the subject, Mihaly Czikszentmihal, author of Flow—The Psychology of Optimal Experience. He says, “instead of being buffeted by anonymous forces, we feel in control of our actions, masters of our own fate. On the rare occasions that it happens, we feel a sense of exhilaration, a deep sense of enjoyment that is long cherished and becomes a landmark in memory for what life should be like.”

Athletes may experience this state when engaged in competition. Creative types know full well the same sensation that arises from immersion in their work. And all of us have tapped into flow through meaningful conversations, rewarding work, fascinating educational encounters, or joyful, loving moments.

Getting There/ Finding Flow

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to access this state of mind, this deep happiness that shapes us so profoundly, on a regular basis? Well, you can! This immensely rewarding feeling, it seems, stems from our deliberate decisions to fully engage life and it’s challenging moments. Csikszentmihalyi writes, “The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limit in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” That’s what I call living Off Balance On Purpose.

Instead of focusing on “flow” as a noun (a desirable end game), view it as a verb (a way of being and engaging your world). We choose to flow by applying ourselves to tackle a challenge, solve a problem, or embrace an intense and important moment.

Off Balance On Purpose

Similarly, “balance” is not a noun, a goal we can ultimately attain. When you pursue it as such, you immediately limit yourself and your response to your world. While grappling for balance, you have to impose rules and rigidly define what “balance” is. This proves to be difficult, if not impossible, as the concept is constantly changing to reflect the longing for what could be but isn’t. The grass will always be greener, and life could always be more fulfilling—somehow.

When you shift your viewpoint to see “balance” as a verb, limitations become limitless possibilities. You are engaged in the art of balancing multiple aspects of life, applying your skills, talents, choices, actions, and creative solutions to integrate what is happening all around you. There is no “end game,” as the masterwork of your creation (your life) is in constant flow. But by engaging the challenge and responding in a vibrant way, you become the guide who shapes the journey.

Into Action

1. Increase your level of engagement in your world. Pursue a more meaningful challenge and you just may find yourself swept up by a sense of flow that brings you joy and heightened rewards.
2. Stop searching for “balance” and become a better balancer. Learn the skills that will enable you to guide yourself through challenging moments.
3. Choose the route you wish to follow—a route that is both “difficult and worthwhile.”
4. Manage your internal reality. When you cultivate a sense of order in your thinking, you also experience order in your life.

When the waves pound you, feel the exhilaration, dig in your paddles, and become a part of the flow.

Keep Leaning Forward,

Dan

Click here for a sample of Dan's new book, Off Balance On Purpose, available NOW!

Twitter Updates for 2009-07-01

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
  • Came home from a successful engagement in NJ yesterday. Hanging with my daughter at work today (she’s helping:) and tackling a ton of stuff. #

Twitter Updates for 2009-06-29

Monday, June 29th, 2009
  • Landed in Atlanta this am and headed straight to church to play drums with the praise band. Coffee is helpful. #
  • Back at the airport and headed to Newark. Program tomorrow for Prudential, then home for a while. What a crazy day! #

Twitter Updates for 2009-06-28

Sunday, June 28th, 2009
  • Yesterday was the most outrageous, jam packed day in Vegas! Saw a ton of friends and got to watch Cirque’s “Ka” from backstage! #
  • Today I get to see my friend Mike Rayburn’s opening show at the V Theater in Vegas! I’m hanging with my pal Tim Gard till showtime. #
  • Whirlwind Vegas trip is ending with a red eye home. Mike’s show was fantastic! Also saw Mac King today. Tons of laughs with Tim G! #

Twitter Updates for 2009-06-26

Friday, June 26th, 2009
  • After a great program last night for the International Jr. Civitan Convention, I’m back at airport, bound for Vegas. #

Twitter Updates for 2009-06-25

Thursday, June 25th, 2009
  • Mobile event was a huge success today, and the drive home uneventful. We will all sleep well in our own beds tonight! #

Twitter Updates for 2009-06-24

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
  • Great program in Sandestin yesterday, then drove to Mobile, AL for a fine seafood dinner. Speaking here this am for AL Education Leaders. #

Twitter Updates for 2009-06-23

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
  • Ran/rode in the Muddy Buddy race in Atlanta with my wife on Sat, then drove to Sandestin, FL with the family. Bikes, beach and fun so far! #

More from Dan Thurmon

Off Balance - On Purpose

  • Subscribe to Action Mail

    Name:
    Email:

    Your privacy is important to us. We do not sell, share or trade your information with anyone.

  • Join the Conversation

  • The Rhythm of Success

    Are you looking for the solution to achieving top performance from your team?

  • Off Balance On Purpose

    Maintaining your balance in today’s off-balance world is never ending challenge. Give up trying to live your life “on balance,” and start living Off Balance On Purpose.