What's happening?

No, seriously. What is happening? I want to know and, more importantly, I want you to know.

We've been conditioned by the sheer repetition of similar inquiries, like: "What's up?" How's it going?" "What's going on? "or "How's life?"

As a result, we've learned to ignore these questions, or, at least, dismiss them as unimportant. Everything's just fine. When we declare it so, you see, we can get right back on to the business of life- the high energy, rapid pace, emotionally charged anxiety of endless activity and unfinished to-dos.

And who can blame us? I mean, who wants to take the time to explain to every polite inquisitor the reality of the events, circumstances, and complexities we are presently trying to handle? Not me. I've often said that there are two types of busy people. Those who believe they are very busy and, when asked how they are doing, will tell you all about it in great detail, for as long as it takes. That way they don't have to actually do any of it. Then there are the people who are so busy they can't afford to take the time to tell you about it. They smile and acknowledge others, keeping conversations brief and focused, as they have lots to do.

But the question "What's happening?" takes on increasing importance when you are the one asking it of yourself. And when you answer that question with complete honesty, you undertake the first step in the process of living Off Balance On Purpose. You "own" your reality.

As a review, Off Balance On Purpose (OBOP) is a repeating process with five steps. They are:

1. Own Your Reality
2. Seek Your Purpose
3. Lean Forward
4. Leverage Your Resources
5. Follow Through

To obtain an overview of OBOP, you can visit last month's Action Mail "New Year's Evolution".

Step One: Own Your Reality

Before you can make purposeful steps forward, you must know from where you are starting. It's not about looking forward and envisioning your dreams. Not yet. First you need to see your life as it is. Not better than it is (pretending to deceive yourself by ignoring reality). Not worse than it is (bathing in the indulgence of victimhood). As it is. Now. This very moment. What's happening? What's really happening?

Reality number one: You are here because of your past choices and actions. Wherever you are presently experiencing is a direct result of your decisions. You can take full credit for your successes and missteps. Own your past. It's yours- bought and paid for with your time, money, and effort.

Reality number two: The past is over. You can only begin from where you are now.

Reality number three: You control what happens next. It will not stay the same, as life is in a constant state of flowing change. As my friend Rene Godefroy puts it, "No condition is permanent."

Time for Action

Understanding this concept is not enough. Here are concrete steps you can take (and really need to take if you are serious at all about this process of ongoing improvement). If you haven't done so yet, get a journal or start a file that serves as your special place to capture the valuable insights you will take from these exercises. Do all three before your next Action Mail so that you will be ready to take the second step toward an Off Balance On Purpose life of fulfillment.

Exercise One- When in Doubt, Zoom Out

(The mental warm up- so simple you do it with your eyes closed!)

Take a moment right now to imagine yourself where you sit reading this newsletter. Now, take an "outside view" of the situation. Instead of seeing through our own eyes, position your mind's eye above you, looking down at you in the chair. Then, "zoom out" so that you are at the highest point in the room, on the ceiling, watching yourself. Got it? Good. Now, zoom out farther still, right through the ceiling and into the sky. Look down at the office building or home from which you are reading this. Then continue outward in your mental image, past the clouds, through the layers of atmosphere and into space itself. From this vantage point, watch the earth below you, rotating around its axis in the star filled sky.

In less than a minute, you have just created some personal objectivity. You most likely have a more detached (and less emotional) perspective of your life situation. If you didn't quite get there, do it again. The more you repeat this visualization technique, the more natural and effective it will become. So return to this exercise anytime you need to get the "big picture" view.

Exercise Two- Give Yourself a Good SWOT

I was first introduced to this evaluation tool when I attended the University of Georgia as a business major. It's a bulletproof way to get to the nuts and bolts of what's really happening. It's called a SWOT analysis, and here's how it works. Take a piece of paper and divide it into four quadrants or columns. Label these as follows: Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. Now, imagine you are a consultant who was just hired to take a look at your life. Be thorough in your effort to identify as many strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and potential threats as you can. Keep your emotions in check. As for your strengths, be sure to include as many resources as you can list. We will be using these when we get to step four, Leverage Your Resources. I can't stress enough how important it is to be honest and thorough. List everything you can think of- every weakness, threat, opportunity, and strength, as you see it. I've done this exercise many times for myself and with friends who were creating new business or evaluating life changes. It is unfailing in its ability to offer new, unexplored insights.

Exercise Three- Dear Self

Do you know how it's always easier to look at someone else's life and see their potential? As an outside observer, we can clearly view their reality. Positive choices become obvious, as we are not emotionally attached to the outcomes. Maybe you've tried to share these insights with a friend. If so, you learned that a gentle, loving approach is extremely important. You are now about to take that approach with yourself, by writing a letter. I've even started it for you:

"Dear Self (use your name),
I've, been thinking about you a lot lately, and I need to let you know what's on my mind. You see, I care about you very much, and wanted to share with you a few observations about your life situation in the hopes that it may help you discover a fresh perspective. Please receive these comments in the loving spirit they are intended. The way I see it..."

This may be the most important letter you will ever write. Give it your serious commitment.

In Conclusion

Own your reality. Don't rent it, lease it, borrow it, or lend it. Own it. It's not a "time share" either, so make sure it's your reality, not someone else's reality of your life. It's personal. It's vital. It's ever changing. This moment's reality is different than when you started reading. You are different.

This month, take increasing ownership of your reality. Give it your thought and careful attention. I invite you to share your insights and questions with me. I'm going through this process with you. And, next month we will both be ready to take Step Two and "Seek our Purpose."

"What's happening," you see, are the beginning stages of your evolution to greater fulfillment. Own it!

With encouragement always,

Dan