“You never know who’s in your audience.”

That statement has long been one of my life mottos. And it is so true – we are surrounded by people and opportunities that are unknown until we take action. I am constantly reminded of this when I meet someone at an event, on an airplane, or at some other location. Sometimes, a spontaneous conversation uncovers a mutually shared friend or experience. Other times, these “chance” encounters lead to new business opportunities. And then there are times when you end up with a really cool story to tell.

Last week I had three events in three different cities: Orlando, Houston, Tampa. Because they occurred in that order, I flew to Houston on Tuesday, spoke Wednesday morning at the George Brown Convention Center for my client (Entelec), and headed back to the airport to catch another flight to Florida.

After clearing security, I found myself with an hour to spare before boarding. Great news, as I was famished, having eaten only some bites of cantaloupe that morning.

I grabbed a steak salad from the Mexican restaurant in the food court, and took a seat at the end of a long, community table. Truthfully, I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone, still processing the program I delivered, and changing mental gears for the next leg of the adventure.

After about two minutes, a man in his late 60s-early 70s plopped down his bag and suit coat on the seat across from mine, then sat down in the next chair. He shot me a friendly glance and a nod, then was joined by a younger man who sat immediately to my left, across from the older gentleman. They started eating their burgers. I immediately thought to myself, “Hey, that guy looks just like Donald Rumsfeld.”

But it couldn’t be. Donald Rumsfeld, former Secretary of Defense under both Gerald Ford and George Bush, would not be eating in the Houston airport food court. He’d probably be flying on a private jet, touring the country to promote his new, best selling book, Known and Unknown. So, I didn’t say anything. I just sat and (I must confess) eaves dropped on the conversation. The two talked about their next destination and mentioned something about “when we return to Washington…”

Could it be? Should I say something and risk looking like an idiot, or risk exposing the man when he might prefer to be unrecognized? All these thoughts swirled in my mind. But, at last, I realized that I couldn’t stand not knowing. And I spoke up, saying, “Excuse me, sir. So sorry to interrupt, but I just have to say you look amazingly like Donald Rumsfeld.”

He looked at me, smiled said, “You know, I get that all the time. Because I AM Donald Rumsfeld.”

To that, I responded, “No kidding. Well, Sir, what an honor it is to dine with you today.” He laughed at my reference to our less-than-glamorous surroundings.

We were quickly into a conversation. I thanked him for his service, and for his book. Although I hadn’t read the 800 page tome, I was familiar enough with it to ask some questions. Then he asked me about my speaking presentations, and my book. Turns out Rumsfeld was a former gymnast, himself, and, in fact a unicyclist! He reminisced about that, and I encouraged him to pick it up again. “At 74, I’m not so sure about that,” he told me. “But Joyce and I just got some new bicycles, and we are enjoying riding together.”

Mostly, the three of us (including the Rumsfeld’s assistant, Brice) talked about life. Rumsfeld liked the idea behind Off Balance On Purpose, and told me that he has compiled throughout his lifetime a list of “Rumsfeld’s Rules,” a 30 page book of quotes and life lessons he lives by and shares with his staff. Brice will be sending me a copy, with his Rumsfeld’s permission to use them however I want in my presentations and books. Pretty cool stuff.

After about 15 minutes, we went our separate ways, to our respective flights. I couldn’t help but smile at the fortuitous encounter. And I can’t help but wonder just how many interesting connections and opportunities go unrealized, because we are not paying attention, or not willing to start a conversation.

I’m glad I looked up from my salad last Wednesday.

Part 1 – Elevate your Focus to Navigate Uncertainty

Please watch the Video Presentation of this message by clicking the play button below. To watch full screen in High Definition, click the arrows in the bottom right corner, and choose 720 or 1080p. Transcript of the video follows.

This is the first part in a series of three video segments teaching the principles of effective balance from atop a ten foot high “slack rope.”

Begin Transcript

Do you want to know the secret to balancing your life? Hi, I’m Dan Thurmon, author of the book Off Balance On Purpose, and today I’m up here in the trees hanging out with the birds, and we are going to talk about the secrets for effect balance in life and, in particular, on this slack rope. [Dan stands atop the slack rope, ten feet in the air.]

I believe that this represents the kind of challenges many of us face in our lives. So we are going to use this as an illustration for what we can do to become better balancers. You see, that’s the thing. You’ll never attain the “perfect balance,” a state of perfect where everything in your life has “evened out.” That’s because we are always in transition. We are always learning and growing and changing … and that’s a good thing.

But the question is, how do you envision your path and then take the steps necessary in order to move forward? And the first step is very simple: Don’t look down! If you stare down at the rope, which many people do when they are trying this for the first time, you will immediately head toward the ground.

And in life we often look down at our challenges – down at our negative situations – down at the immediacy of what is happening and what we think is important, instead of looking up and outward to grasp the whole situation and understand what is really necessary. Only with that longer range viewpoint can we begin to take the necessary steps to move forward.

[Dan pushes off from the tree and begins walking atop the ever-moving slack rope.]

Notice even while I am walking I am looking forward, not down to where my foot is in contact with the rope. I feel for it to get a sense of security and alignment, but then I move forward with my vision fixed ahead of me. That is the only way to effectively move forward. If you look down [Dan looks down at this feet and the rope, and loses control and composure.] Woah! [He "falls" to the ground, landing on his feet.] Immediately, you are going to fall off of the rope, and you will be in big trouble.

So, the first lesson is to manage your focus, to:

1. Raise your vision above your challenges.
2. Set a higher course for your life, in terms of your goals and objectives, and to
3. Keep your focus fixed down the path.

To be continued…

Dan

And Harness the Computing Power of Your Brain

IF you are frightened about the uncertainty in your future:

IF you find yourself repeatedly facing difficult situations:

IF you are wasting valuable time and brain power on seemingly simple or unimportant tasks:

THEN, it may be time to rewrite your code.

“Code” is a computer term for the instructions, rules, and commands in the language of programming. Computers do only what programmers tell them to, and these instructions (lines of code), depending on their effectiveness, can enable excellence or create recurring problems. And the exact same is true for you.

The human brain is the most magnificent, elegant, and powerful of all computers known to mankind. And the instructions, rules, ideas, and pursuits we program, consciously and unconsciously, determine our eventual “output,” in terms of life experience.

While modern computers are incredibly fast and can calculate and multi-task far better than we can, our brains remain superior. Your brain, you see, is ever changing, learning, interpreting your environment, and capable of the amazing act of imagination.

Also, your neural “operating system” is continuously being upgraded, based upon your circumstances, experience, education, and desires. When you harness your “thought machine” toward a particular purpose, you can become unstoppable.

But in order to do that, you need to learn to rewrite the code, that is, the software that drives your noggin. You must “program” yourself for success. Assume your rightful role of chief programmer. You will be influenced by other people and circumstances. You may be conditioned by past experiences. But you can overwrite your code with new commands, if you will seize control and do so, deliberately.

IF/THEN Commands

In 1982, when I was 14 years old, my dad brought home from work a modern day miracle: the IBM PC. This machine covered his entire desk, and was slow as mud, but it introduced me to the dawning age of Information Technology via a monochrome green version of “Space Invaders” and the BASIC programming language (an acronym which stands for Beginner’s All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code).

One of the most useful of all computer instructions, I discovered, was the “IF/THEN Command.” It is self explanatory, meaning that you tell the machine IF you encounter this input, set of circumstances, or problem, THEN this is what I want you to do next – or, here is how you handle it. It’s like writing a rule that will apply to future situations and challenges.

Now, here’s the cool part. Because we are creative – capable of imagination – we can write IF/THEN rules for our lives. Essentially, you make a conscious decision and tell your brain:

IF I face this type of situation (again, or for the first time), THEN here is how I will handle it.

This simple line of code, or self-executed command, is amazingly useful when applied to:

• Time-saving habits
• Rudimentary tasks
• Performance standards
• Recurring decisions
• Scenario planning for the future

This is also how we shape our personal judgement. At some point we decide how we will process a certain type of situation or influence. We write a rule for the way we will handle it. These rules accumulate, and will remain in place, shaping our lives, until we consciously remove or rewrite them.

Into Action

1. Turn Uncertainty into Opportunity. As you plan for your future (career path, financial situation, relationship status, parenting situation, or whatever it may be) imagine not one, but multiple options, or scenarios. Develop alternate plans of action, depending upon how circumstances unfold.
2. Handle a Recurring Task. Consider a situation you have encountered more than once, and construct a plan for how you will handle it, should it happen again. This will empower you to anticipate, recognize, and handle future challenges with more effectiveness and less hardship.
3. Resolve a Dilemma. If you have been bombarded by challenge after challenge, each one distracting you from your desired path, then you may need to deal with a larger decision or question. This could be a process, a moral judgement, or an ambiguous direction. Recognize the issue, than develop an IF/THEN rule to handle it now and in the future.

If you don’t like the output you are getting in life, you may need to reexamine how you processed the thoughts and actions that led you to that experience. Chances are, it is not a “one time only” event. You will be confronted with the same or similar circumstances in the future. The great news is you can, right now, upgrade your mental software and set in place a new and better way to deal with it.

Be bold. Rewrite your code.

The Power of Daily Discipline

Please watch the Video Presentation of this message by clicking the play button below. To watch full screen, click the arrows in the bottom right corner.

Transcript of the video follows.

To become truly excellent at something – anything at all – requires effort and commitment.

It all comes down to two essential factors: desire and discipline.For me, as a performer and speaker, I use the skill of juggling to discuss and illustrate how we can manage our focus under pressure, staying proactive while handling a multitude of objectives in life. How do I deliver my best on-stage performances, often in front of thousands of people? I work at it, every single day.

One of the things I do on a daily basis is one thousand catches. That’s right. I count them, and I continue until I complete the challenge, without dropping. Every day. Sometimes it is late at night in a hotel room, after a long day of travel. But, still, it gets done.

And this is just the bare minimum. Many days I practice much longer. So do the math! That’s easily ten thousand catches per week. More than a half million per year. That kind of repetition and time develops both confidence and capability. So I take the stage with the knowledge that I’m prepared. I’ve earned the right to be there.

How about you? What are your one thousand catches? What skills and habits are essential to your success, and what daily disciplines are in place and non-negotiable to ensure you are making progress?

Great achievements in life and business do not happen accidentally. Excellence is a habit you must cultivate every day.

How do you ensure you are at your best when it matters the most? Well, you have to pay the price. Put in the time. Become the master of your skills.

Will you be prepared for the opportunities and tests in your future – both the ones you expect and the ones that will catch you completely by surprise and increase the likelihood of a positive result IF you will adopt specific daily disciplines.

One thousand catches doesn’t take all that long – about four minutes, if I don’t drop. But, of course, that’s not all I do. I have other physical disciplines in place, involving stretching and exercise. Then there are disciplines and practices relating to my work, family, and hobbies. It’s challenging to do it all every day, and not always possible. The key is to determine which of your disciplines are in place and non-negotiable. Then, have a plan in place to keep track and hold yourself accountable. You can’t do it all every day and have a “perfectly balanced” life. But you can be Off Balance On Purpose, biased toward what matters most!

So what are your one thousand catches? Your non-negotiables – the things you will do every day, no matter what?

As you consider that question, keep in mind the five spheres of your life pattern, as discussed in my book, Off Balance On Purpose. And remember, the key is to identify important things you can do that don’t take all that long, but have enormous impact over the course of time.

Your Work Sphere – What are you reading, writing, and doing to improve your skills? Identify the essential tasks that will contribute the most to your long term success, then do them every day!

Your Relationships Sphere – What do you say to and do for the ones you love? Tell ‘em you love ‘em. Communicate. Share a couple minutes of focused conversation.

Your Health – What are you doing to exercise and eat well? Do you adequately rest and relax? Each of these elements contribute to a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle.

Your Spiritual Growth – Prayer, meditation, spiritual readings and practices all fall into this essential category.

Your Personal Interests – What hobbies, interests, or areas of study are you pursuing? Maybe this is more of a weekly discipline than a daily commitment. That’s up to you. But if it’s important, you need to figure out a way to make it happen. Not once, but often.

As my friend, Dr. Nido Qubein, says, “There are two types of pain: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. Pick one.”

Pay the price. Cultivate the habit of discipline, and I promise you will soon feel a sense of pride and satisfaction from your efforts. Neglect you essential skills, relationships, and practices, however, and you will pay a different price in the future. And it may be unaffordable.

It is truly up to you.

The critical task every individual and every organization faces is to prepare for the unknown. We cannot be certain today of tomorrow’s requirements or demands. Circumstances yet to be revealed will deliver enormous impact to our lives. The question is: are you preparing for those moments today?

With forward thinking and a deliberate plan of action, I believe that we can embrace uncertainty, welcoming indefinite conditions as exciting opportunities to grow our personal and professional capabilities. For this to happen, we must be able to change our approach (and often our ingrained patterns of behavior) and do so with both speed and conviction.

Seldom are we able to eliminate all obstacles or ensure success with absolute confidence. In nearly every endeavor, the appropriate objectives are to manage our obstacles and create the greatest likelihood for success.

Uncertainty Unmasked

What does “uncertainty” look like today? What, specifically, are individuals and corporate leaders struggling to discern through fogged telescopes pointed toward the future? Here are some of the more common contributors to sleepless nights and paralyzed planning efforts.

• The economy – Is it recovering? What will become the “new normal?”
• Regulations by governmental agencies – Seemingly arbitrary decisions can create enormous intended and unintended consequences.
• Innovation and technology – What systems do we invest in and adopt? And just how quickly could they become irrelevant?
• Competition – What known and unknown competitors do we face? How do we win business?
• Hiring, staffing and training for the future – What talent will we need to hire and develop? How will we find, attract, and retain the right teammates?

On a personal level, we additionally face the uncertainty of:

• Health issues, for ourselves and our loved ones
• Financial security
• Our children, their futures, and the world they will inherit
• Home values and the cost of ownership
• Future (or present) employment

Any one of these issues may elicit trepidation. Together, they are nearly impossible to comprehend. Our response to uncertainty may cause us to panic or withdraw, paralyzing forward progress. Because we cannot know, we decide to do nothing, fearing that any attempt to control our circumstances would be wasted, misguided, and uninformed.

I believe we can be proactive, positive, and productive, even when facing the unknown. In fact, we MUST become increasingly capable of managing the uncertainties we face if we are to live a healthy, enjoyable life, serve others, or operate a successful business. Doing nothing or “becoming paralyzed” by the unknown are not viable options. We must be willing and able to ACT.

Into Action

1. Own your reality. Learn. Understand as much as you can about current conditions and the process affecting future changes.
2. Get clear on your purpose. Be specific and certain of your purpose, principles, and values. When outside circumstances change, principles and values remain the same. In fact, they will often reveal the proper course of action.
3. Plan for contingencies. One answer is no longer enough. We need multiple options, depending on outside circumstances and possible developments.
4. Improve your abilities. It is always the right time to improve yourself. Become stronger, smarter, and more capable. Make “continuous improvement” part of your life and your corporate culture.
5. Stay flexible. Be willing and able to change, stretch, and move in new directions. Understand the value of mobility, streamlined systems, and the ability to make adjustments to your plans.

Prepare as though the opportunity of your life is imminent, and your life will be abundant with opportunities!

Keep leaning forward,

Dan

As we enter the “Season of Peace,” you may be experiencing something closer to pandemonium. Our hurried pace and pressing demands can become consuming, distracting, and even maddening. Over time, our brains and bodies become overworked, and our motivations may become misaligned.

We need to actively combat this “fuzzy thinking.” Liberate yourself from your distractions. Illuminate the path between you and your goals. In other words, you need to get clear.

Getting End-of-the-Year Clear

Do NOT wait for January to think about your “resolutions.” I’m not a fan of resolutions. Too often, such bold promises are doomed to fall short of transformation, leaving us even further from our intended goals. Instead, I advocate New Years Evolution, an approach that combines continuous improvement, ongoing adjustments, and a renewed, revitalized sense of purpose.

Although this time of year brings its own distractions and challenges, it also affords us a great opportunity in time away from your work. This natural disruption to your “normal” routine (and self-perpetuating patterns of action) is valuable. Let’s use this as a time to get clear and begin 2011 with a fresh viewpoint and improved approach.

In order to Get Clear, you will need three things:

• Distance – physical and mental separation from your usual surroundings.
• Solitude – Seek a quiet spot, one that is free from distractions. Turn off your phone and give yourself at least one full hour of concentrated focus on your most important subject … yourself.
• Honesty – This is not a time for self-deception. You can only begin from where you are. So simply get honest. Then get started.

The following ten questions are not easy to answer. That’s the whole point! Honest answers to these questions are vitally important to your continued growth and happiness. Apply yourself to the challenge, and I promise you will be rewarded with a new sense of clarity. Answer these questions from a personal (life) perspective, a professional viewpoint, or a combination of both.

Ten Questions to Clear

1. Are you happy with your life – your current circumstances?
2. Are you moving forward, moving backward, or simply “idling?” Consider this question from the perspective of each of your five Life Spheres: Work, Relationships, Health, Spiritual Growth, Personal Interests.
3. What purpose do you bring to life each day? Throughout life, we continue to uncover aspects of our spiritual/life purpose. Are you acting in concert with your purpose, allowing it to expand for you?
4. Who are the most important people in your life? Are you giving them focus, time, and energy?  Are these people connected to the other aspects of your life?
5. Are you leading a healthy lifestyle? Is your life sustainable, or are you heading for a physical or mental breakdown?
6. Are you clear about your goals – the things you are trying to achieve? Are your goals written, specific, and measurable? Are they still compelling, relevant, and important to you?
7. Are you satisfied with the progress you are making, or do you need to make adjustments and corrections?
8. What do you need to start doing?
9. What do you need to stop doing? What is the number one limiting belief or behavior standing in your way, and what are you willing to do about it?
10. What do you need to continue doing? A breakthrough may be right around the corner.

Focused action is the key to real progress and the way we experience fulfillment in life. But we cannot have this focus without clarity. I hope these questions will lead you to an exciting new understanding of how you wish to grow in the coming year. And I look forward to continuing to provide encouragement and guidance along the journey.

Keep leaning forward,

Dan

Order Dan's Acclaimed book, Off Balance On Purpose, as a gift for the holidays! Be sure to indicate how you want it inscribed in the comments section of your order check out.

Perhaps you have noticed, as I have, more of the people you know and care about are struggling during these tough and uncertain times. Or, maybe, that “struggler” is you.

Without question, individuals and organizations (charitable ones, especially) are finding themselves facing unfamiliar questions, challenges, and levels of hardship. Even those who are working seem to be working harder to remain profitable and successful.

How should we respond to such a situation? Some may say we need to cut back – reduce our expenditures to the bare minimums and protect our time, space, and emotions from other influences. In other words, we should give in to our circumstances.

I believe that now, more than ever, it is important to keep leaning forward, orienting yourself “Off Balance … On Purpose” to embolden your efforts and help the people you love.

Leaning forward with Purpose

When you inject a sense of purpose into any situation, uncertainty is not diminished. It does, however, begin to transform from a negative, energy-draining emotional state into something positive: excitement, possibility, and opportunity.

How is this “shift” accomplished? It begins with you and involves two important factors: your orientation and your application.

Orientation – How do you position yourself, relative to the difficulty? Are you on your heels, or are you leaning forward? In other words, are you simply a curious spectator to life’s events, waiting to witness the outcome? Or are you in the game, eager to participate and influence the final result?

Application – How do you use what you have for the greatest benefit? How do you leverage your money, time, talent, passion, influence, and energy to provide the most meaningful, measurable boost to your family, your friends and for our world?

When in doubt, give. Give from where you are abundant, and give from where you may be lacking. By helping others, you help yourself in two ways. First, you will experience an immediate reward for doing something wonderful for someone else. Secondly, you will engage forces greater than you (it’s a God thing) to multiply your gift for your intended recipient and, ultimately, for you, as well. It is impossible to give more than you receive.

Into Action

1. If you are in a position where you can give financially, please do! Your dollars matter now more than ever! I’m not asking you to give to my causes. Pick your own. These may include your church or favorite charity, or it may mean helping a dear friend or family member who is in desperate straits. Whatever you decide, your financial support will have an immediate and powerful impact.

2. Give of your time and energy. Get involved in the causes you care about. There is no better way to extract yourself from a personal “funk” than to get engaged in meaningful activity for others. You don’t have to commit to a huge undertaking. Perhaps start by lending a hand for a Saturday afternoon. You may also find that you’ll meet interesting, like-minded people as you invest your time for a worthy endeavor.

3. Give encouragement. Speak words of hope and optimism (to yourself and to others), even if they may at first ring hollow to your own ears. To give encouragement costs you nothing! Yet, the worth of your words may be priceless. Remember, we must orient ourselves to take a positive stance toward our circumstances. That is Step One! And sometimes, we “fake it till we make it.” In other words, you begin to embody what you wish to experience, auditioning for a desirable “role.” Then, eventually, you take ownership of the part as a full-time player.

4. Give your best efforts. Don’t diminish your expectations about what is possible. Instead, elevate your commitment and see this challenging time as an opportunity to hone your skills and talents. Focus with precision and make every action and conversation important and purposeful.

Thank you for the incredible opportunity to be one of your encouragers in life! It is an awesome “gift” I do not accept without immense gratitude and accountability. Please leave a comment in the section below to share your thoughts and contributions.

Keep leaning forward!

Dan

We are all off balance. The question is, are you simply off balance in response to your world, struggling to keep up with the demands placed upon you? Or, are you off balance, on purpose, moving through life in a way that is intentional, deliberate, and fueled by a sense of meaning?

This is the central point in the Off Balance On Purpose philosophy, and my book of the same title. I believe that it is incumbent upon each of us to adopt an orientation, or “life posture” that is BOTH in alignment with a sense of purpose AND leaning forward toward our greatest desires.

Towards, Not Away From

Notice I said, “leaning forward towards our greatest desires.” This is important. The human mind naturally seeks what you tell it to find. Beyond that, our focused thoughts make us keenly aware of the people and opportunities that are congruent with our intentions. You and I literally become and experience what we think.

Therefore, you are focused “away from” negative influences or behaviors, this will confuse your built in “seek and find” system. For example:

One of the questions that I frequently hear from my clients is “How do we avoid employee burnout (or disengagement, or disinterest)? The first problem, you see, is in the phrasing of the question. The orientation of the question is about moving away from an undesirable condition “burnout,” which, then becomes the subject of your focus. You simply cannot make forward progress until you have a forward focused objective. That’s why I approach it differently.

I help my clients design and operate a workplace that supports energized, engaged, accountable employees.

Do you see how this second statement immediately shifts the thought process and orientation? Now, in our conversations and plans, we are leaning forward towards something purposeful and compelling (engaged, capable, responsible employees), instead of trying to avoid a negative condition (burnout).

Need more examples? No problem. As you focus your efforts to make changes, which approach would be more useful?

Away from unhealthy food or towards a healthy lifestyle

Away from financial crisis or towards financial discipline

Away from negative self-talk or towards confidence and independence

Away from past events and hardships or towards a promising future

Away from broken relationships or towards transformed relationships

Away from a suffering spirit or towards spiritual growth

When you Go Full Tilt

It is a question of being focused, aimed, and pointed in the direction of what you most want. This is an exciting prospect, so I encourage you to aim high and lean boldly toward your desires. A hesitant step in the right direction won’t provide the commitment or excitement you will need to continue.

That’s why I suggest that you go “Full Tilt,” meaning that you should lean forward with conviction and make the kinds of choices and promises that make you a bit uncomfortable. That’s the posture from which transformation is born, flourishes, and sustains itself over a long period of time.

Into Action

1. Identify your most important, urgent, consuming issues.
2. Perform an “orientation check.” Are you positioned to move “away from” a negative circumstance or “toward” something positive, exciting, and compelling?
3. Adjust your life posture, your orientation, so that you emphasize the positive aspects and results you are moving towards.
4. Increase your lean, going full tilt towards what you are seeking. You might do this by sharing your plan with someone, enlisting assistance or accountability, or simply increasing your personal commitment. Lean forward until you feel excited and a bit uncomfortable.
5. Sharpen your focus and clarity. Don’t pick “fuzzy goals” or general improvements. Get specific, so that you will recognize opportunities when they materialize.

Until next month, I’m wishing you an exciting and wonderful journey towards what you most want – personally and professionally. Keep leaning forward!

Dan

I believe we deeply desire integrity – For ourselves and for the people we encounter.

It’s one of those qualities, like “balance,” that seems wired into our circuitry in such a way that we quite naturally understand it, aspire to it, and notice its unquestionable lacking in our world. But, as this article is really about action, the question becomes “what can we do about it?”

Where is the integrity in our society? Is it evident and demonstrated by our leaders or celebrities? If so, then why is there a relentless onslaught of seemingly good or talented people doing the wrong things? In fact, the integrity gap seems to be ever expanding.

It Isn’t What You Think

To get to the root of the problem, I believe we need to examine the very origin of the word “integrity.” And, to quote the character Inigo Montoya from one of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride (arguably one of the most quotable films in history):

“You keep using that word.

I do not think it means what you think it means.”

It doesn’t. Over many years, we have altered the definition of “having integrity” to mean: honest, virtuous, and upstanding. But it doesn’t mean what you think it means.

In fact, the root of the word, “integer,” is Latin, meaning “whole, or complete.” “Integrity” truly means “the quality or state of being complete; wholeness.”

We point to the outward expressions of “integrity,” noting such virtues as honesty and truthfulness. But, in reality, these qualities are simply a natural byproduct of the condition of completeness. So our true challenge, you see, is becoming whole and complete, even in our undeniable imperfection. That is much like like finding solid footing in an off balance predicament.

How Do You Do That?

“Inconceivable,” you might protest. “Completeness is no more achievable than perfect balance. Or safely navigating a fire swamp.” You are absolutely correct, my friend. But, I believe the key to embodying integrity is twofold:

1. Become engaged in the process. The process is called “integration,” and it means “putting together the components that are necessary for wholeness – those things that are integral to your life.”
2. See yourself as complete, even though you are a work in progress. You have, even now, what you need to move forward and take coordinated, purposeful steps and do the right thing.

When we (or the people we admire) perceive ourselves as undeserving of our present circumstances, or lacking something we think is necessary to preserve or gain happiness, we are incomplete. We are lacking integrity. We may begin to do things that express this shortcoming, and we pursue our missing elements, even though we may not fully understand them.

Decide that you are, right now, complete and capable of doing the right thing. You are enough, just as you are, regardless of your wealth, job, or external circumstances. Integrity does not discriminate, regardless of where or how you are stationed in life.  You can possess integrity, but you must own your completeness and be:

• Completely present
• Completely accountable
• Completely honest
  
• Completely committed to persevere through the process

Integration

This process of putting it together, assembling completeness, fascinates me. I wrote about it in my book, Off Balance On Purpose, and shared a process for assembling what I believe are the five essential aspects for completeness: work, relationships, health, spiritual growth, and personal interests. Rather than “balancing” these elements, I believe we must integrate them in a healthy and abundant way. That’s where joy resides. That’s when integrity becomes second nature.

Integrity is not a sometimes thing. There isn’t a switch you turn on and off when it suits you. It is a natural byproduct of a higher pursuit, and a plan of action.

Into Action

You wouldn't traverse a bridge lacking integrity. Why enter into a partnership in a similar state?

1. Develop integrity by selecting essential elements and (here’s the hard part) eliminating from your life those things that challenge your completeness.
2. Insist on integrity in your relationships, business partners, and for yourself.
3. Reward integrity. Make sure your “heroes” are people who really deserve the title. Commend others who exhibit the virtues you admire and aspire to embody.

There will always be room for improvement, and you and I will never reach our full potential (because it is infinite). Still, the state of wholeness is yours to claim. When you claim your completeness, and begin to live and act in this way, you also become a shining example for others to follow.

Do you have a GPS (Global Positioning System)?

You are here!

With annual sales of these navigation devices at 39 million units, and with the popularity of GPS enabled cell phones, more and more people are using this helpful technology tool to get from where they are to where they want to go.

These are incredible devices. They enable us to easily, comfortably find previously unknown places. Simply type in your desired destination and, in many cases, a friendly guide (computerized voice) will tell you exactly where you are, when to turn, and the  precise moment you have arrived at your destination.

I have selected an Australian woman as my GPS voice because I love the accent. A friend of mine actually downloaded the voice of Mr. T to his GPS. Imagine that driving experience for a moment – “I pity the fool who don’t turn left right now! You lost, sucka!”

There is a Downside

But as wonderful and as useful as these devices are, there is a negative side effect. If you have one, you know what it is, because you have had the experience of arriving at a destination without any real clue or understanding as to how you got there. Without the GPS, you would have little chance of getting home, much less finding this spot again in the future. Right? We’ve all been there!

GPS Affect on Learning

A GPS will get you there, but it doesn’t teach you how to get there again. That is because the learning happens in the “figuring it out” part. When you deprive yourself of the experience of “getting lost,” you also deprive yourself of learning. From that standpoint, the term GPS could take on a different meaning, “Growth Prevention System.”

Personal growth happens the same way. Unless we have struggled to attain a “right answer” or “find a destination,” we will not truly benefit from the discovery.

Apply that thought to your life right now. There is a benefit to the struggle you face right now – a gift to the grind. Sometimes we are fortunate or benefit from the guidance and generosity of others. Even then, if you seem to have simply “arrived” at your current state of success, without understanding exactly how you got there, you will naturally be uncertain about where to go next.

Into Action

In order to take command of your direction and route toward your desired destination, personally or professionally, incorporate these “directions” into your road map.

1. Get Lost! It’s OK to be uncertain of where you are. In fact, sometimes it is the best way to learn a new territory. You may find that you are already “lost” in some way, uncertain about where you are going. Embrace it! These moments of transition and change are, in fact, incredible opportunities to learn, grow, and redefine yourself!
2. Get your bearings. To do so, you might need to consult a “map.” Take a hard look at your life and the path that brought you to where you are. Then, look at yourself. Get your inner “bearings” about what you value, what is important to you, and what you truly want to achieve. This “purpose” check is the equivalent of recalibrating your inner compass.
3. Ask for directions. Ask for guidance from someone (or several different people) you respect and admire. Take in this advice, but realize that no one can do it for you. This is your journey to navigate.
4. Refuel. Refocus. Recommit. In order to sustain a difficult journey, you need to treat your vehicle right. Eat well, rest, and renew your personal energy. Take time to look around and confirm you are headed in the direction you wish to go. And, on a regular basis, remind yourself the reason why this trip is so important, and recommit to the next leg of the adventure.

Both the joy AND the learning are found in the journey. Take charge of your circumstances and embrace the challenge of finding your own way. There will be moments of confusion and decision, as well as new discoveries. Savor and experience these, and commit the lessons to memory. Indulge in a few detours, without rushing your arrival time. The greatest discovery of all may be the unexpected experiences, and previously unknown aspects of your self.